


What Can I Do

by junmyeony



Category: Day6 (Band), K-pop
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Child Abuse, Day6 - Freeform, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, Love Triangles, M/M, Sungjins kind of a jerk here, Unrequited Love, don't hate him lol, highkey based off the MV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-28
Updated: 2018-07-06
Packaged: 2019-01-06 07:12:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 43,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12206388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/junmyeony/pseuds/junmyeony
Summary: Sungjin finally decides to make a move on his long-time crush, Haru.Wonpil wonders when his best friend will ever look at him back.Haru gets winded by Brian's intense stare.Brian is amazed by his first ever friend.Dowoon wishes to escape.Jae just wants to play basketball.What can they do?





	1. Looking at you look at someone else is painful

**Author's Note:**

> Okayy so hi everyone literally the Day6 MV for What Can I Do highkey was SO GOOD and immediately made me wanna read a ff like this so I just decided to write one to fill my fangirl heart !! The entire story is more thought out and pretty long b/c I wanted to really develop the stuff in the MV, so be patient with me pls! :) Also I changed like a bunch of things to fit my story but basically everything in the first few chapters follows the MV, but later I change some stuff I'll mention later. Oh and I named the girl "Haru" because it means Day in Korean, so I thought it would be perfect for a Day6 ff!   
> HOPE YOU ALL ENJOYYYYY!!

The middle of late May had the weather looking beautiful.

The strawberry blonde walking up the path towards the school building hardly noticed it as all his thoughts were taken with the notes in front of him, as he scrambled to study for the test that would commence in only a few hours.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the mute boy Dowoon hiking up the path as well, unfazed by the horde of girls following behind him. Jae tried not to get distracted by their commotion, focusing on his notes.

He cursed silently as he tried to memorize the definitions that were on his sheet.

"Yah! Chicken Little!" cried a teasing female voice that ran up the path next to the boy and hit him on the arm.

"Noona!" He whined, slightly smiling at her. "I told you not to call me that!"

"Can't help if you look like him with your glasses!" Haru laughed. Looking at his notes she said, "Oh! You're still studying? Teacher Kim is going to have your head for failing this test!"

"Help me then?" Jae asked.

She grabbed his notes saying, "How are you so good at English and so bad at Korean?"

"Hey! English comes naturally."

~~

Halfway across the school, two boys were also stressing over the same test. Well one boy was while the other was pretending to be.

"Hyung!" Wonpil cried, throwing his head into his arms. "I can't do this anymore. My head is going to explode."

Sungjin smiled but looked back at his notes because he knew Wonpil was only exaggerating. The boy was extremely intelligent and barely needed to study to pass a test because he listened diligently to the teacher, even if he denied it to his friend.

Unlike his best friend, Sungjin actually had to study if he wanted to pass the test, so he continued diligently reading his notes.

Wonpil peeked at Sungjin underneath his arms, studying him. They had been friends ever since the first year of high school and were scarcely separated. They were both generally quiet kids; Wonpil not knowing what to say and generally being awkwardly adorable, and Sungjin just being naturally obedient and quiet.

Sungjin didn't notice his friend looking at him as he was too focused on studying. Wonpil sighed under his breath, laying his arms comfortably on his arms, still scanning his eyes over his friend. He wondered if Sungjin would look up and see him staring at him, but Sungjin did not look up for the longest time, leaving him unaware of the eyes on him.

~~

Finally, in the classroom across the library, two boys sat, far across from each other, both uncaring of the commotion around them. Many students opted to come to class early instead of waiting in the halls, two of them being Dowoon and Brain. The former of the two surrounded by many of the classes' (and some of other classes') girls who crowded around him. The latter being surrounded by no one at all since the boy had an exact number of friends, which was 0.

His cold and bad boy attitude kept everyone away. His piercings were violently against school policies and his uniform was always being worn sloppy and out of dress code. No one dared approach him thought, for his sarcastic attitude and snarky remarks drove people away, even if his good looks had attracted them at first.

Dowoon scarcely said anything at all (actually he had never said anything in front of his class mates, not even answering the teacher when called on) leading everyone to believe he was mute. To his gaggle of fangirls however, they believed that only made him more mysterious and alluring. His bright eyes and jet black hair were idol like to the group of girls obsessed with him. They surrounded him, trying to talk over each other to get his attention.

He signed inaudibly, his head lying on his desk. He tried to block out their voices to catch a few precious minutes of sleep, since he was up all night the day before. He thought that if they knew who he really was, they wouldn't even want to come close to him.

Brian observed the scene with impassive eyes, scoffing at the group of girls clearly throwing themselves at him. One of them saw him rolling his eyes and glared at him back.

"You're just mad because no one likes you, Brian." She sneered, her friends nodding their heads.

"As if I would want any of you to do anything but dislike me." He snarked back, before scoffing at them again and getting up to leave. He never liked desperate people but the comment about not having any friends struck a chord, so he left.

Dowoon heard everything that was happening from his desk and decided to just head to the roof where he might actually find some peace and quiet. He got up and left as well, his giggle of girls following him. He cursed inaudibly but continued to walk out of the class.

Making it to the rood, he decided to just sit on the edge and listen to his music, pretending not to hear the group of girls who had followed him up there. They were standing in front of him, giggling nervously while waiting for him to notice them.

Eventually, one of the girls actually approached him and handed him a gift, stuttering, "Dowoon-oppa, w-will you accept this f-from m-me?"

He only glanced at her passively and then hopped off the roof and walked away. The girl's lips wobbled while her friends supported her arms, comforting her. It's not that he didn't like her (even if she did follow him all day) and Dowoon felt a little bad that he turned her down like that but they had been annoying him for quite some time now. They never got the hint that he was not interested and never would be.

~~

Before third period, during most of the students' lunch break, a lot of the fourth years were in the library, last minute cramming for their big literacy test. Because they had to write a huge essay on the back page of the test, many students were combing through the shelves, trying to find last minute info on their topics. Sungjin was one of those few who were gathering more information from the books, while his best friend watched him from the shelf behind. Wonpil sat on the ground, leaning against the shelves, saying he was reading for his essay too, but in reality, he was actually just peeking at his friend from behind the books.

Suddenly, someone else came to the other side of the shelf Sungjin was perusing, running her fingers through the spines of the books. Sungjin glanced beside him to see Haru also finding books, he guessed, for the upcoming test.

The sunlight coming through the window made her hair and eyes sparkle quietly through the dusty library, and Sungjin just couldn't take his eyes away. He had always been conscience of Haru, ever since she had first come to the school. She was beautiful and incredibly smart, always wanting to do her best in school. She didn't have many friends, her one and only friend being the boy named Jae who always cracked jokes and fooled around in class. Although he wanted to talk and make conversation with her, he was always too shy and nervous to properly say hello.

Wonpil saw his friend peeking at someone while he pretended to search through books. He glanced to his side and saw Haru through the books on the shelves. He shifted his eyes back to Sungjin seeing the boys eyes focused completely on the girl a few feet away. He had a star struck expression on his face.

His eyes softened as he looked at Sungjin, but he also felt a soft pang close to his heart when he saw him looking at Haru. He knew Sungjin has liked her for a long time but since he was too shy to talk to her, Wonpil always thought his best friend was safe from being in a relationship.

Now that he looked at them he wondered why he felt that they should not be together. They were both quiet and shy people who looked as if they would get along quite well. The thought, however, made him uncomfortable as he stared at the two of them, so he returned his attention to his book.

~~

As the bell rang, signifying that lunch was over, all students packed their bags and headed to their third period class for the day. Jae and Haru walked close together on their way to study period, being careful not to bump into anyone on their way.

"I'm going to fail the test next period!" Jae whined, hitting Haru on the shoulder.

"That's what you get for playing basketball while you should have been studying!" Haru replied, laughing.

She was too bust teasing her friend that she failed to notice the boy walking in her opposite direction. He collided with her shoulder, sending her books flying down. Jae quickly picked them up for her while she turned to the student who just knocked her shoulder to apologize.

She looked up and finally saw that it was Brian. He gave her an intense look that made her heart stop momentarily in her chest. His stare was so intense and direct, it gave her goosebumps. She had always known he was attractive, but she also knew he was the schools resident bad boy, and it was just trouble to get mixed with him. He didn't even apologize and just walked away, before glancing at her intently, then Jae. The students parted for him because they didn't want to interact with him.

"Geez, he didn't even say sorry..." Jae commented, handing Haru her books.

She heard him but said nothing, looking after Brian who continued to walk away. Her heart beat a little faster in her chest, but she ignored it and shrugged it off. She turned back to Jae, not before giving Brian one last glance.

"Let's just get to class. Study period is next."

~~

 

In the language classroom Jae and Haru sat at their own table laughing and joking before the test. Sungjin and Wonpil sat at a table not too far away from theirs, and both boys were occupied with studying. Although not with their notes. Sungjin was too busy staring at Haru who was totally oblivious to his gaze. When she laughed it made a melodious and light sound that Sungjin couldn't help but immediately smile after hearing it.

Similarly, the boy beside him was studying someone. Wonpil stared at Sungjin, tracing the lines of his face with his eyes. He knew Sungjin was looking at Haru across the class. For some reason he wanted Sungjin to look at him instead. The nagging feeling in his gut became evident whenever he saw Sungjin being absorbed in his crush. He called to him but Sungjin was too busy looking at Haru that he didn't notice. Something painful hit Wonpil's chest but he ignored it.

"Do you think Jae-oppa and Haru are dating?" A girl on Wonpil's left asked her friend sitting near her.

"They're always together and only hang out with each other. I wouldn't be surprised!" Her friend giggled back, staring at the said two near the front desks.

Wonpil knew Sungjin had heard what the girls were saying and waited to see how he would react. Sungjin looked longingly towards Haru's table, eyes dropping when he spotted Jae. He too thought he didn't have a chance with her because Jae and her were so close and they seemed like they were already a couple. Sungjin's mood dropped when seeing them together, but they were constantly together.

Wonpil wanted to tell him to stop pining over Haru, but it wasn't his place to say. He didn't know why he cared so much, but Sungjin had never liked anyone else besides Haru in their entire high school years. He hadn't told Wonpil about his crush, which kinda hurt, but it was painfully obvious. Wonpil just wanted it to be him and Sungjin. Just the two of them, as they had always been.

~~

The study period was more of a catching-up-on-sleep period for both Dowoon and Brian. You could find one of the boys napping on the rooftop, where the ledges where he usually sat were great makeshift beds. It was very dangerous and a slight wrong move might topple him over the edge, but Dowoon was so used to hanging around the edge of the roof that he was never afraid of falling down. He also played with the idea of just rolling over the edge himself, but dismissed it, telling himself that was stupid.

Brian preferred sleeping in the empty art classroom on the second floor. No one ever used that classroom ever since the art teacher quit, but even if students did, he would just hide in the storage room that connected to the classroom. The room was so cluttered that anytime someone, including the teachers, tried looking for him, they could never find him amidst the mess. It was perfect safe havens for the boys who wanted nothing to do with the people at their high school.

Suddenly the sound of someone unlocking the door brought Brian to his senses and woke him up from the nap he was taking. He quietly sat up and observed the newcomer from behind some canvases and paint brushes. The intruder was a girl, making her way through the mess of a classroom, heading to where Brian was seated.

He watched her slowly make her way towards him, hearing he mumble things under her breath.

When she was only a few feet away, Brian slowly walked up behind her, the girl not noticing his presence.

"What are you doing here?"

Haru screamed as she heard a voice behind her, although she thought the classroom was abandoned.

Sensing that her scream might make a teacher walk in on them, Brian grabbed Haru closer to him so he could cover her mouth with his hand. She immediately stopped screaming and looked up at him with huge eyes. She was panting into his hand, her warm breath breathing onto his palm.

Brian didn't recognize her, not bothering to remember many of the kids at his high school, but she clearly knew who he was. Then it clicked, and he remembered that she was the girl he bumped into that morning in the hallway. He pushed her away the instant she stopped screaming and she was still looking at him with her mouth slightly open. The feeling of her breath was still on his hand, and he subtly wiped it on his pant leg.

"I asked what you were doing here."

Haru's heart beat faster and she wasn't so sure if it was just from the fear that the slight scare had inspired. She could still feel his slightly calloused hand resting over her mouth, the warmth from his fingers transferring to her face.

She gulped but stood her ground, "What are you doing here? Teacher Kim wanted me to grab some pencils before the test. I thought this classroom was abandoned."

"Obviously you thought wrong." He answered and began to move away from her.

"Wait!" She cried, desperate for a reason she couldn't understand, but she knew she didn't want Brian to leave.

She grabbed his arm as he was leaving and he instantly turned around and looked at her with a fierce and intimidating gaze. He shook off her hand and spared her one more glance before storming out the door. Haru stared at him before he turned the corner and wondered what this weird feeling in her chest was.

~~

Back in study period, it was almost over and Jae was jamming by himself while Haru was gone. He was not the only one distracting himself. Sungjin was staring wistfully at the place she had sat. .

"I'm going to go to the bathroom." He said, quickly standing up.

Wonpil watched his friend go, knowing he was not heading to the washroom.

Before his train of thought could go any further, the door to the classroom opened and Dowoon walked in trailed by his gaggle of girls. Wonpil felt pity for him for always having these girls chasing him even though he clearly didn't want them to. Wonpil wondered where he had gone to, since he was never in study period most of the time.

However, he had no more time to think of anything other than Sungjin when said boy walked in with Haru, smiling and talking as they walked back in the class. Wonpil's stomach dropped slightly as they approached his desk, seeing how good they fit together and how perfect they would be as a couple.

Sungjin was so absorbed with talking to Haru that he had completely forgot about Wonpil, leaving his table to sit with Haru and Jae. Wonpil felt very confused and upset as to how and why Sungjin was talking to Haru now, since he couldn't even utter hello to her in the library that morning. Wonpil felt an even bigger pang in his heart at the thought of his best friend leaving him to sit with other people, and even forgetting that he had left Wonpil at his own at his table.

He stared at his best friend intently, now from across the room, hoping Sungjin would just look back at him and notice him sitting at their table alone. And then he would realize he left Wonpil there and come back to sit with him, laughing about how Haru had asked him a question and he got distracted. However, that never happened and Wonpil was left confused and staring after his friend while Sungjin laughed and smiled, staring at nothing but Haru.

To his right, someone sat on the sides, watching the entire thing unfold with his eyes. Dowoon saw the way Sungjin had passed Wonpil and the dejected look on the boy's face after he did. Dowoon felt slightly angry at Sungjin for doing that to Wonpil, but it was not his business, so he went back to listening to his music, drowning out the rest of the class.

~~

Sungjin had been walking around the school several times just to try and find Haru. He thought this was the only time he could get her alone and actually try to talk to her. He rounded a corner and spotted Brian coming out of the abandoned art classroom. Sungjin tried to smile at him but Brian just glared at him before walking off. Sungjin was even more confused when Haru came out of the same classroom, looking a little shaken, with a light blush covering her face. Sungjin wondered if Haru and Brian had spoken in the art room, and why they had been in there, but had just rounded the corner, bumping into Haru who was on her way out.

"Oh, sorry Sungjin!" She said. "I wasn't paying attention."

He smiled at her, internally happy that she even knew his name.

"No problem Haru, what were you doing in the art room?"

"Teacher Kim wanted me to get some spare pencils for everyone before the test." She replied.

"Oh." Sungjin said, and wanted to ask about Brian, but was too afraid of what she might say so he kept his mouth shut. "Well let's get back."

Sungjin's heart was beating fast as he walked next to Haru, attempting to start a conversation many times, but failing due to his awkwardness. This was the first time he ever tried to talk to her, and was surprised she even replied. He thought she looked even prettier up close and relished in being able to talk to her, even If albeit a bit awkwardly.

Finally reaching a conversation that resembled normalcy, they spoke about the upcoming test next period. He was so nervous while talking to her that his voice cracked a couple times. However, it was all worth it when Haru giggled every time that happened. Sungjin was so absorbed with Haru and dizzy with the fact that she even wanted to talk to him, that he completely forgot about Wonpil sitting at their table, waiting for him to get back.

Jae welcomed them back and raised her eyebrows at Haru before looking at Sungjin.

"You don't mind if he sits with us, do you Jae?" Haru asked, meaning to carry on the conversation and use the time to study to actually review for the test with someone who studied.

Jae glanced at Wonpil's table, where the lonely boy was just staring at his notes, deep in thought, before saying, "Uh, sure, no problem. However, weren't you sitting with Wonpil?" Jae said pointedly looking at the wide eyed boy sitting a little away.

Sungjin's eyes widened slightly before remembering his best friend. He felt guilty that he had forgotten about him, but he had finally got the chance to talk to Haru, and Wonpil would understand.

"It's fine. Wonpil loves studying by himself. It helps him think. I was probably just annoying him."

Although it was true that Wonpil loved to read on his own, but the latter statement was completely false. Wonpil never found Sungjin annoying and would rather have Sungjin beside him than sitting there alone. Wonpil brushed these thoughts to the side however, telling himself that Sungjin could make friends if he wanted to, and it was none of his business. He felt sad; however, when he realized that he had no one else to talk to besides Sungjin.

The whole class was mostly divided into groups or pairs sitting all around the class, talking and laughing together. Usually Wonpil would be one of them, joking with Sungjin as he scolded him for not studying. Study period was always fun when Sungjin was with him, but now that he wasn't sitting with him, he had no one to talk to. The only other person not conversing with someone else was Dowoon, the mute kid, who naturally didn't talk to anyone, so it was impossible to talk to him even if he wanted to. Wonpil sighed and leaned his head on his desk, wishing the period would be over already.

Finally the bell signalled everyone to get out of class and to fourth period. The group by the front got up first and started to pack their bags. Sungjin went back to his own table with Wonpil, and began to pack his things too.

"Wonpil! Guess what happened today?" He asked, oblivious to the suffering he had caused his friend.

Wonpil shrugged, not able to reply, lest he be bitter about the whole ordeal.

"When I went to the bathroom, I bumped into Haru and actually talked to her! She even knew my name without me having to remind her!" Sungjin went on about Haru all the way to the language room.

"And she is so smart! She explained things to me that I didn't even know I didn't get!"

"That's great hyung; can we just get to the classroom?" Wonpil said, not wanting to hear more about his best friends crush.

Sungjin was unperturbed, however, and continued to talk about Haru for the better part of the five minute walk. As they entered the classroom, Sungjin spotted Haru and rushed to get a seat close to her, leaving Wonpil behind once again. Wonpil sighed before making his way towards the empty seat next to the one Sungjin took. Suddenly another boy came and took the seat which left him only to sit in the back with only three other kids he barely knew and it was very far away from Sungjin. Again Sungjin forgot about Wonpil as he last minute studied with Haru, laughing at something she said.

Wonpil did not want to watch the scene so he turned his attention towards his own desk, lightly tracing patterns on the wood, hoping the test would soon commence. He had never wished for anything more in his life.

~~

Every day after school, Wonpil and Sungjin would walk home together, Sungjin leaving first towards his own home.

It had started raining the minute Wonpil had stepped out of the school and he waited for Sungjin to finish his test and meet him at the front doors. However after he had been waiting for almost half an hour, he was one of the last students there. He was frustrated and annoyed at Sungjin, knowing there was no way he had been writing his test for that long.

Wonpil pulled out his phone and decided to call him, to see where he was.

"Hello?" A female voice said on the other end.

Wonpil's heart dropped, wondering why someone else, a girl too, was answering his phone.

"Hi, where's Sungjin?"

"OH, Sungjin-sshi is helping me find some books in the library, but he will be back soon. It's Haru, by the way." The sweet voice said.

Wonpil's mood sunk even further when he heard that Sungjin had ditched him again to go study with Haru. He did not even inform him, and he had stood there for 25 minutes, waiting for him.

"Would you like me to tell him something from you? Hello, Wonpil?" The little voice on the other end of the line said.

"No, thanks Haru." He said quickly before hanging up.

Upset and frustrated, Wonpil left the school, zipping up his windbreaker all the way, since Sungjin was the one who always packed the umbrella. The walk home was filled with loneliness, sadness, water seeping through his clothes, and the weather perfectly reflecting his mood.

~~

Across the street from where Wonpil was walking dejectedly slow to get home, another boy was doing the same thing. Dowoon always tried to stall long enough at school before he went home, because although disliked school and the people in it, he hated being at his house more.

He dragged his feet across the pavement, taking extra care to stop at every stop sign and red light, even if they were for the cars and not him. He played a game to entertain himself, and to make the short journey to his house longer. He counted the amount of red cars he saw and every time he saw one, he would turn back around and walk back to the end of the street before continuing on his way. Unfortunately for him, he only saw about two red cars a day, which barely lengthened his walk.

As he got to the front door of his house, he shook off his wet hair and took time to clean his shoes on the doormat. He quickly slipped inside the house and put his shoes on the rack, before attempting to run up the stairs as quietly as he could. Usually his father was already passed out on the couch, dozens of beer bottles scattered around him, by the time he got home. He was hardly ever awake because he passed out after drinking too much. When he was awake, he would spend all his time yelling at his son, spewing evil things from his mouth and abusing him endlessly.

He must have been handsome, once (for Dowoon was a handsome guy) but after his mother had died, he went crazy. He couldn't focus at work, constantly yelled and eventually got fired. He couldn't stop seeing her everywhere and every time he looked at Dowoon, he would see her again and take out all his anger on his son. They were now living on unemployment insurance that would not last for very much longer.

Dowoon took every opportunity to get away from his father, never interacting with him for more than five minutes a day, in fear of angering him.

Today, luck was decidedly not on his side. His father jolted awake, spilling beer all over the carpet and his shirt. Dowoon tried to climb up the stairs extra slow and soundlessly. Unfortunately the house was an old one that was barely cared for after his mother had died, and the squeak on the third step gave away his position.

He opened his eyes wide with fear before glancing back at his dad. His dad squinted his eyes around the room before spotting Dowoon and opening them in anger. He picked up one of the beer bottles (this one unfortunately being half full) and threw it at the wall near Dowoon's head. The bottle broke, spilling beer and glass all over the floor and on Dowoon, who immediately winced.

He whimpered inaudibly when a glass shard enabled itself into his shoulder and several cut his arm. He was only wearing a thin long sleeve, which was now drenched in brown beer and did nothing to prevent the glass from cutting his skin.

"Worthless bastard!" His dad yelled, more loudly than usual.

"Why did she have to die and not you? Now I'm stuck taking care of this mute ass kid, who can't even open his mouth to admit he killed his own mother!"

The first anniversary of his mother's death was close and caused his father to be more violent and angry than usual. His father went on and on, cursing profanities left and right, yelling the standard abuse Dowoon had heard on days his dad was awake.

Dowoon was sadly used to all this abuse and took it with his head down, saying nothing. Usually his dad did nothing but yell and accuse him of a million things, but did not come within five feet of him.

However, tonight he did something he had not done since the night his mother died. His father quickly advanced towards him, raising his fists, ready to abuse Dowoon, but not with his words this time. Dowoon opened his mouth to yell, but no sound came out. His arms came up, immediately ready to defend himself.

His father landed a hard blow on his right cheek, causing Dowoon to stumble back and onto the glass shards on the ground. The punch was alcohol and rage fueled, which caused it to be more strong that usual. The glass cut his socked feet and embedded themselves into his skin.

"Murderer! Faggot! Worthless, useless boy! Why did it have to be her?" He yelled and yelled and before he knew it, Dowoon just couldn't take it anymore.

Dowoon was suddenly filled with rage, not being able to survive this for another day. He brought his head up, staring his father straight in the eye while he continued to yell at him.

When his father attempted to throw another punch at his face, Dowoon grabbed his father's arm before he could hit him again and stared so fiercely into the eyes of the man he grew to hate. Although he couldn't speak and tell him so much of what he wanted to, he knew his eyes would convey his hatred enough.

His father's behaviour today was the last straw and he knew he had to get out of that house as fast as he could. He dropped his father's arm and quickly ran up the stairs, missing the arm that reached out to grab him again. Dowoon ignored the pain in his feet as he rushed to grab clothes, necessities, and all the cash he had, before throwing them into a duffle bag and rushing down the stairs once again.

"Yah, Boy! Leave for good! Don't ever come back!" His father hollered as Dowoon ran out the door after putting on his shoes at the speed of light.

The words brought back bitter memories, and this time Dowoon would definitely not be returning. He would turn 18 in a matter of months and by then he could hopefully support himself. Dowoon had tears running slightly down his face but was only crying for the good memories the house contained. He knew he should've done this weeks, maybe even months ago, but he didn't have the willpower to leave the place his mother had loved him in.

When he was a little boy, his parents were both kind and loving. The best parents a kid could have. As he grew older, he began to realize he liked boys a little more over girls, and then found out he didn't like girls at all. He came to this revelation at 5am in the morning, when he was 16 years old, running to his mom with the news.

His mother was the kindest woman to Dowoon. The only one he would ever truly love, he thought. She hugged and cried with him and said she would always love and support him. Dowoon had cried for two more hours after that, with relief more than anything.

After telling his mother, he thought his father would react the same. However, his father was a very traditional man, who highly valued continuing on the family name. He was in shock when he heard his son say such things about himself; he immediately told him it was wrong and disgusting.

His mother was his saviour that night, and she instantly rebuked her husband and scolded him for saying such things to their son.

"That is no son of mine!" His father roared, letting his feelings on the issue come forth.

"First he thinks he should become a musician and now this? Useless, ignorant, Fag! Every word that comes out of your mouth is wrong and disgusting! Don't ever say those things to me in person lest you want to be disowned!" He yelled, beating and belittling his son on his dreams, sexuality, and person.

"Stop it!" Dowoon's mother yelled. "STOP yelling at him, it is who he is, he is and never was any of those things you called him! You are a monster for yelling at your kid like this!"

"Stay out of this!" He roared, rearing back to try and hit Dowoon, but his mother got in the way and he hit her hard instead.

"STOP!" Dowoon yelled, staring in rage and disbelief at his father. "You will not hurt my mother!"

Dowoon was ready to fight his father when his mother reached out and grabbed Dowoon's hand, pulling him out of the house and into the garage.

"That's right, get out! And never come back, for you are no longer my son!" His father yelled as they hopped into their car and drove off in a random direction to get away from him.

Dowoon was next to his mom in the passenger seat, silently crying, as his mother tried to comfort him.

"Shhh, don't worry Dowoon-ah. Eomma will always protect you, okay?" She shushed him, while driving.

Because she wanted to pay attention to her son, she wasn't looking properly at the road, and a big red pickup truck was coming quickly towards them. Before she could even glance back at the road, the truck collided with their small Prius at lightning speed.

Dowoon had no chance to even call out his mother's name before he black out with the impact.

He woke up in the hospital, bandages over his arms and a cast on his right leg. He saw his father at the doorway and immediately panicked, sending the nurses into a flurry to help him. After noticing his father was causing him his distress, they ordered him out of the room, against his loud complaints.

When Dowoon felt safe again, he turned to one of the nurses and anxiously croaked, "How is my mother?"

The nurse's eyes softened as she looked at him and sadly shook her head.

"She was on the side the truck collided with. I'm so sorry for your loss."

Dowoon would have screamed if he could open his mouth. He would have made a loud commotion if his voice would only work. He was stuck in a loop of horror and despair and yet he could still not understand his silence.

Tears streamed constantly down his face, not stopping once even when the nurse tried to dab the tears away, before throwing away the tissue for it was way too wet to be of any use.

Dowoon tried to remember the last thing he told his mother, but could only remember the hateful words his father had spewed that night.

_"Useless, ignorant, Fag! Every word that comes out of your mouth is wrong and disgusting!"_

Dowoon never thought his father would say something like that to him, and sometimes wondered if the man was right.

What if he just decided not to tell them about his preference for boys? What if he kept it a secret and his dad wouldn't have yelled at his mom. His mom wouldn't have driven into the streets, distracted by his distress. They wouldn't have been hit by a pickup truck, and his mom wouldn't have died, and he wouldn't have to keep living with his dad.

There were a thousand different scenarios where his mom wouldn't have died, if he'd only kept his mouth shut. He blamed the entire situation on himself and never forgave himself. Some days he believed what disgusting words his father spewed at him when he was drunk or sober (the words being more hurtful when he was sober).

Dowoon was forced to move schools at the end of the school year and he never spoke again.

In the end, he decided that saying nothing was better than saying anything at all.

~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry bout the angst yall! And i didn't want to hurt my baby Dowoon but it was needed for the story! ˚‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥᷄⌓˂̣̣̥᷅ )‧º·˚


	2. Who's that on the roof? They're a little close to the edge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay heres where i make a bit of changes lol! So yeah I didnt want Wonpil or Dowoon participating in the basketball game even though you can clearly see them in the MV, lol yeah its just to fit my plot and description of the characters so yeeeee! :D

The school's basketball tournament had been the cause of great excitement for all the students in the school. It was an excuse to get out of class and see the students just compete with each other, rather than other schools. Anyone could sign up and out of the five boys, only 3 did.

Jae was determined to play and win at least once this year, his love for basketball pushing him to be more competitive and fierce court. Brian was only a little ways away from being on the same boat as Jae. Basketball was one of the only things Brian still loved to play and put any attention into. He used to love singing but gave it up when he moved to this school. He enjoyed basketball since it was the only time he got to play with everyone else, without them ignoring or backing away from him. He was good and everyone knew it.

Sungjin had signed up for the game, thinking it would be fun, and would take his mind off all the studying and cramming he had been doing lately. He was also very athletic, in many of the schools clubs and teams.

The only person not present at the game was a certain black haired boy, who was once again in his little save haven on the roof.

Overall, there were about 15 boys in the tournament who took alternate turns playing a game of 5 on 5. During the first game, Jae, Brian and Sungjin were playing together on one team with two other students. There were hundreds of students sitting on the bleachers.

In the front row, Haru was cheering for Jae, constantly giving him the fighting! sign. Although she wanted to cheer for her friend, she couldn't keep her eyes off another boy on the court.

Sungjin saw Haru looking in his direction and played with the idea of the look she sent in his direction to be for him. He stunned at the thought, and it only made him play harder, hoping to impress her.

Brian was fiercely focused on the game, making his face more intimidating as he sped through the court, reaching the other side in record time. Grabbing the ball which was mid throw towards him, he shot it into the hoop. He pumped his fist in the air and genuinely smiled at his basket.

When Haru saw his smile, her heart stuttered, because she had never seen him smile before, especially not out of true happiness. It was a stark contrast to his usual stoic and scrunched eyebrows look. It completely transformed his face into something light and carefree.

She felt herself fall a little, looking at that smile. As soon as it was there, it disappeared again when the coach blew his whistle.

"C'mon guys, let me hear you!" Jae yelled as he ran down the bleachers, giving everyone a high five. He was ever the hype man, even when he was playing in the game.

Farther towards the top of the bleachers, Wonpil sat, silently cheering on Sungjin. Wonpil was not athletically inclined at all, allowing him to cheer for Sungjin at every game and competition he had. He knew Sungjin would do the same for all his competitions.

Today was no different, and even if he was upset at him yesterday for ignoring him, he wasn't one to hold a grudge. He still showed up to cheer for his friend as he always had.

He watched as Sungjin paused for a moment on the court after Brian had shot a basket, looking towards a spot on the bleachers. Wonpil traced his line of sight and was dejected to find him staring at Haru, who was seated in the front row. Sungjin turned back to the game and continued playing extra hard.

The game commenced again and Brian and Jae were determined to win against the other team. They were the strongest players, but they still tried to get everyone to participate in the game, making them good leaders.

Slowly though, the other team began to catch up, much to the disappointment of the two boys. Jae ran towards one of the player on the other team, and stole the ball from the side. He dribbled for a while, looking around to find his teammates. Unfortunately, most of them were otherwise occupied and not close enough to the net to make the shot. Soon a very tall guy from the other team had cornered him and tried to block the ball.

"Park, over here!" Jae heard a voice call behind him, not in Korean. "Toss it over your head!" The voice yelled again in English.

The guy in front of Jae looked confused because he couldn't understand a thing the voice was saying. Jae understood completely though, and flung the ball upwards and behind him.

He turned around and saw Brian catching the ball, while dribbling again towards the net. He shot again and landed another basket. Jae whooped, and sent a smile over his shoulder at Brian. Brian started for a moment before sending a smirk back at Jae.

The game continued with the two boys constantly throwing English phrases at each other that no one else could understand.

"Big bird, 10 o'clock!" Jae yelled, motioning with his eyes at the tall boy who wore blue shorts on his left.

Brian clearly saw who he was talking about and quickly passed the ball to another boy on their team, before it could be stolen from him. He chuckled lightly under his breath at the creative names the other was coming up with, and at the confused faces of their opponents whenever he said them. Their teammate dribbled far before throwing it to Jae, who easily tossed it into the net.

"Yes!" The Jae and Brian yelled at the same time and turned to grin at each other.

With Jae's final shot, their team was able to win the game by only 3 points. Jae walked up to Brian after they had won and clapped him on the back.

"Awesome game dude, didn't even know you spoke English, that's so cool. I didn't know anyone else in the school even spoke English. I've had like no one to talk to; we're automatically like best friends, my dude." He said throwing his arm over Brian's shoulder.

Brian's back burned from where Jae had initially touched him, and heat spread to his shoulder when Jae threw his arm over him. Brian stiffened slightly but recollected himself, allowing a small smile to be sent towards Jae. He didn't really believe Jae when he said that they were friends, knowing people would just say those things as a joke. They would like him for a minute when he appealed to them, but then would drop him because he was too scary again.

Suddenly a girl game up to Jae, hitting him on the arm, saying, "Yah! Nice win there!"

Jae reluctantly let go of Brian and rubbed his arm while pouting, "Noona! I wish you'd stop doing that."

She giggled and he let his fake hurt drop to grin at her.

"I know! Did you see me and Brian out there? Did you know he speaks English too? I've found a gem, and I'm keeping him." Jae said, patting Brian on the shoulder before wrapping his arms around him, possesively.

Brian flushed a deep red, which he instantly blamed on the heat, and not on the boy who was now clinging to him like an octopus. The fact was that he had never, gotten a hug from someone, ever, and even this pseudo, fake, clingy hug was the first and best one he's ever had. Deep down, Brian didn't mind how those words sounded, finally finding someone who wanted to keep him and possibly be his friend. He still looked a little flustered but when he saw the girl next to Jae, his eyes hardened when he realized it was the girl who disrupted his sleep yesterday.

Haru tried to keep her eyes on Jae but couldn't help but glance to his side at Brian when he was mentioned. She saw his cold gaze and shuddered under the weight of it.

"Good game, you played amazing." She smiled at Brian.

He nodded and turned to leave the gym. Haru stared after him until he had left through the doors before sighing under her breath.

"Hmm... I guess he couldn't stick around. Still wanna be his friend tho, I need someone else to talk to besides my twitter followers." Jae sighed as he too watched Brian go.

"Yah!" Haru said again, hitting him once more on the arm. "Can you not talk to me?"

"I told you to stop doing that!" He whined, his pout making another reappearance. "Someone I can talk to in English, I mean!"

~~

While the game was going on downstairs, Dowoon sat on the ledge of the school.

His legs dangled off the edge, him having been there since last night. He had been using the roof as his makeshift, temporary house, since no one ever headed up there. He had slept on the ledge last night, trying to spot stars like him and his mother used to do.

When he was younger his mom would take their family on camping trips, up north, far away from the heart of Seoul. She claimed they needed the fresh air and you couldn't find any stars in the city. His father had only scoffed and loaded the car, staring at his wife fondly. This was when Dowoon was still a child and did not know how to be anything beside a happy kid.

Thinking about his old memories sent pangs into his heart and made him miss his mom even more.

Korea was too polluted though, and he could see nothing last night besides darkness.

He sighed at the thought of never getting to see the stars again.

Now he sat, listening to the cheers of the students as the basketball tournament went on below him. He felt bitterness towards people who always had it easy, although he knew it wasn't their fault. The only person to blame for his shitty life was himself (and maybe his dad).

He peeks over the ledge and marvels at how high up he was above the ground. It was almost like flying, the wind blowing extremely hard at this level. He started leaning forward, loving the thrill of being up so high. He leaned even more forward, using his hands to keep him from falling off the ledge.

The wind was stronger here than on ground and it felt so good against his face. He felt free for the first time in his life, even though he had nowhere to go, and no one he considered family left.

He closed his eyes, wanting to keep this feeling for a little bit longer. He leaned further and further over the ledge, till only his tips of his fingers were supporting him on the ledge.

He thought about how easy it would be to let go of the ledge, his fingers practically begging to. He would be able to feel how it would be like to fly, albeit for only a few seconds.

Still, he would be free, and not have to tiptoe around his dad, get abused every day, or feel the never ending pain of losing his mother. It was not like he had anyone left. He would rather die on the streets than live with his father again.

The wind rushed against his face, faster now, the force of gravity practically pulling him closer to the edge. He leaned just a fraction further, already getting a glimpse of what it would be like to fly.

If he let go, he would get to be with his mother again. He wouldn't have to deal with his father. No one would miss him. He had no friends at school, and he hated the girls who only followed him around for his looks.

If only they knew who their idol really was, he thought bitterly. A faggot that can't even fight back to his own father.

He hadn't even realized he was crying, the wind making the tears disappear before they could slide completely down his cheek.

What did Dowoon have to live for anyway? And with that thought, he mouthed one last 'I love you' to his mother, and let his fingers slip off the edge.

Instead of feeling the rush of wind and the feeling of falling and flying, he felt the rush of falling backward instead of forward. An arm wrapped around his waist and yanked him back so hard, he fell back and landed on something hard and soft.

The stranger pulled so hard, they both went toppling over, Dowoon landing with his back pressed against the others chest. It took a minute for Dowoon to gather his surroundings but when he did, he realized he wasn't in fact, dead, but in the arms of someone who just saved him from an almost successful suicide.

He tried to sit up, but the stranger instinctively gripped him tighter. Dowoon didn't know what to feel other than warmth. He thought he heard the stranger say something to him, but he couldn't catch it.

He had numbed his mind before he let go, and now he was in shock. Before blacking out, he remembers feeling safe in that person's arms, deciding he would be okay with staying there forever.

~~

 

In the gym, Wonpil and Sungjin sat on the bleachers, after the game. Wonpil had given Sungjin a congratulatory hug, which he might have revelled in just a tad bit too long.

They had always hugged each other after one of them won something big. Whether it is a singing competition (Wonpil) or a track race (Sungjin) they had always been there to congratulate the other with a hug.

Sungjin complained that he was sweaty, and Wonpil shouldn't be hugging him. Wonpil just laughed because he knew he would never mind it as long as he was hugging Sungjin. This was one of the only times he could hug his friend without any repercussions.

"Good game hyung! I saw you make those shots, you were great!" Wonpil praised his friend.

"Thanks Wonpil." He beamed.

Wonpil tried to discuss the game more with Sungjin, but saw his friend's attention was drawn elsewhere. He was looking across the gym towards a trio of people speaking near the doors. Two of them were Brian and Jae, and the one in front of them was Haru.

Sungjin couldn't take his eyes off her, still staring at her even when Brian left the gym, and Wonpil had to call his name a few times before he heard him.

"Mmhm, yes?" Sungjin answered distractedly, turning to look at Wonpil.

Wonpil was a little hurt, but he thought that he could move past what happened yesterday. And it was petty but if Sungjin wanted to talk to Haru and hang out with her, who was he to say no? He wasn't his mom, or his brother, or even his... boyfriend. He shook the thought off immediately.

Wonpil sighed and just muttered, "Forget it."

He didn't want to be upset with Sungjin, but he also didn't want to hear Sungjin go on about Haru for an entire walk home. The fact that Sungjin was so absorbed with Haru that he didn't even notice Wonpil standing there was a little too much to handle for some reason.

"Hey, hey, where are you going?" Sungjin said, grabbing Wonpil's hand as to not make him leave.

Wonpil's heart lurched but was still slightly hurt at the treatment Sungjin gave him yesterday and today, that he only pulled his hand away while shooting Sungjin a small smile.

"I just remembered I had an important paper due soon and should really get home to finish it early." (Said paper was not actually due until following month, but Sungjin didn't know that)

"Oh, okay then. Do you need a ride home?" Sungjin asked, eyes still distracted looking towards the door Haru had left through.

Wonpil knew who Sungjin was eager to go look for, and he was only taking up his time.

"I'm fine. I'm actually walking home with someone, but thanks." He lied on the spot.

At that statement, Sungjin turned his head back towards Wonpil, looking at him in sight disbelief. Walking home together had always been their thing. Although Sungjin had his own car, he still preferred to walk with Wonpil every day.

He looked at his best friend pensively but smiled at Wonpil before saying a quick thanks and okay, before bounding down the bleachers.

Wonpil watched him go with something close to longing, before descending the steps himself.

Although Wonpil told Sungjin he was going to walk home, his feet led him to the staircase to the roof. Wonpil had sometimes come here when he was really stressed and needed to think. The roof really was a tiny thing, all made of solid concrete. Nothing more than a slightly taller wall occupied the small flat space, and the front ledge was just facing the front of the school.

The school was a high building, and the students were technically forbidden to be up there, since the ledge had no fencing or protection against just falling right over.

Wonpil pushed open the extremely heavy door and walked onto the rooftop.

He was surprised to find another student there, since usually no one ever went on the roof. He wondered who was up here since most of the students were still at the basketball game.

Minutely he recognized the raven black hair and recalled some girls speaking about how Dowoon-oppa was always hanging around on the roof.

What was he doing though? Sitting on the ledge, Wonpil thought.

His eyes widened in alarm when he saw how close Dowoon was sitting to the edge of the ledge. One small move and he might fall over the side.

Suddenly, Dowoon began to lean forward, and even more forward, until he was only holding on with his fingertips.

"Yah! Dowoon! Dowoon!" Wonpil called, but it was too windy for Dowoon to hear his name.

Wonpil broke out into a sprint, panicking over the boy who would fall over the ledge if he didn't do something right then. Just as Dowoon's figners had slipped off the concrete, Wonpil had finally made it to him and grabbed him by his waist towards himself.

He might've grabbed him too hard, but fear of Dowoon falling made him act fast and rushed. Both of them went toppling backwards and landed on the pavement next to the ledge. Dowoon looked disoriented and tried to sit up, but Wonpil would not let him get up and try to jump over again, so he tightened his grip around his waist.

"Shhh... You're okay. You're okay." He whispered into Dowoon's ear trying to get him to calm down.

A minute later, the fainted and Wonpil just laid there with the boy in his arms, breathing in his strawberry scented shampoo. Wonpil knew he should get up and maybe take Dowoon to the hospital. However, he thought the boy may not want them to ask him certain questions. So Wonpil decided the best option was to bring him to his own house instead.

He carefully shifted Dowoon off him and laid him gently on the ground. He glanced around the roof once before spotting the boys duffle bag. He looked inside and found clothes, toothbrush and toothpaste, other essentials and a lot of money. Wonpil's eyes widened again before glancing back at Dowoon.

"Are you running away?" Wonpil whispered out loud towards the boy lying on the ground, although he knew Dowoon was unconscious.

He made his way back to Dowoon and decided that carrying him on his back would be easiest. Dowoon was surprisingly light, and Wonpil was able to lift him up easily enough to secure him his arms across his neck and hold onto his legs. Wonpil grabbed Dowoon's bag and began to descend down the stairs and out of the school.

~~

Meanwhile, Sungjin was running out of the gym, following where he thought Haru would be. He saw her at the front doors, standing while Jae appeared to be jokingly harassing Brian.

How Jae had the courage to do that, Sungjin couldn't imagine. There were rumours of Brian getting into dozens of fights back at his old school, and he just didn't care enough to follow the rules that they suspended him.

Although Sungjin wasn't one to believe or listen to rumours, he was also slightly wary of Brian since his face was always permanently etched into a scowl, and even if you got too close to him, he would glare at you.

Sungjin ran up to Haru, making it seem casual although he was out of breath. "Hey Haru, how did you like the game?"

Haru turned and smiled seeing Sungjin. She had never particularly talked to him before yesterday, but she found him to be really nice and seemed like a good friend.

"Hey Sungjin! It was amazing, you played great, too! And the entire team of course." She said, as she sneaked a glance towards Jae and Brian.

Sungjin's heart skipped when he heard her say that he played well. He smiled at her.

"Are you heading home now?" He asked.

"Yes, I'm just waiting for Jae to finish talking to Brian." She said.

"Oh, are you all walking home?"

"Yeah, I live pretty far, so Jae walks me home every day."

Sungjin suddenly had an idea, and sheepishly said, "I have a car, I could drive you home?"

Haru looked at him in surprise, "Seriously? You don't have to, seriously. I can walk home."

"You sad it was far, and I kinda have to repay you for studying with me yesterday. I would've failed the test without you."

"I'm sure you would've aced it without me! But, I also can't leave Jae." She said.

"I could drive him home too?" Sungjin said, anxious to spend some time with Haru.

She smiled and agreed, calling to Jae, "Jae! Sungjin said he could drive us home!"

Said boy looked back at where Haru and Sungjin were standing, before saying something again to Brian.

"Hey, you don't mind if I head home with Brian right? He has the new Overwatch game I've been dying to try out! So, we're heading to his house to play video games!" He said, throwing his arm, once again, over Brian's shoulder.

Brian was actually smiling, which surprised Sungjin, who had never seen his face make anything but a frown. Brian usually didn't interact with anyone, so seeing him take so easily to Jae was surprising. When Brian spotted Sungjin looking at him however, he immediately dropped his smile as Sungjin averted her eyes.

Haru hesitated, biting her lip, before looking strangely in their direction. Sungjin believed that it was maybe because Jae was becoming friends with Brian, and Haru and Jae were best friends. Haru smiled at him, agreeing it was fine, before saying goodbye.

The two boys walked off, still talking in a mix of Korean and English, barely of which Sungjin and Haru could understand.

Haru was still looking off in the direction they had left, before Sungjin called her name.

"Oh, yes. Well let's go." She said, smiling.

Sungjin led her to his car, nervously walking a little faster than necessary.

"Sungjin, slow down!" Haru called, laughing.

Sungjin embarrassingly slowed his pace, rubbing his neck, sheepishly. The car ride was quiet, sometimes one of the pair venturing to start the conversation. In the end, they began to talk amicably about the school fair that was happening the next day.

It was an annual event that almost everyone in the school attended to. They were both reasonably excited and before he lost the courage, Sungjin quickly asked her if she wanted to go with him. She was rendered silent, and his heart dropped. He kept his eyes on the road, not to lead her into believing he was upset she might not wanna go with him.

After a while she answered, "I'd love to, Sungjin, but me and Jae go every year together."

"Oh." He responded dejectedly.

He knew Jae and Haru were best friends, and thought they were most liking not dating, but he still felt jealous.

"I'm sorry, but I'll see you there, right? You should give me your number, so maybe we can meet up?" She suggested.

Sungjin immediately lit up.

"Sure! Yeah, totally!" He stuttered, embarrassed but satisfied, while reaching into his back pocket to give her his phone.

She punched her numbers under a new contact and gave him back her phone. After that, Sungjin thought he should confess to her that he had no idea where her house was. He had been driving in circles for the past 10 minutes, passing the same road, three times.

"The grey house over there!" She pointed, barely being able to contain her laughter.

He laughed light along with her, and stopped the car in front of her house.

"Thank you!" She cried before smiling at him and bounding into her house.

Sungjin sat in the car for a while, stupidly grinning at nothing, before realizing he was still parked in front of her house, and quickly drove away.

~~

 

Dowoon had woken to a soft bed and an even softer hand rubbing his bruising cheek.

He blinked his eyes open, and the hand quickly drew back. He was disoriented as to where he was. He was not in his room or the roof top where he last remembered he was.

He remembered the feeling of wind on his face and the freedom of almost flying, until someone had yanked him back and all he felt, briefly, was warmth and safety. He opened his eyes fully this time, and saw someone's face close to his own.

"Dowoon?"

He panicked, swinging his hands upward, almost hitting Wonpil in the face. He was breathing hard, finally recollecting what had happened yesterday and the fight with his father. Tears began streaming down his face, thinking about what he was going to do and what would happen to him.

Whatever happened, he vowed to never go back to that wretched house. He would rather starve on the streets than ever go back to his father. His breathing increased at an alarming rate, quickening with the anxiety of his situation. His hands clenched unconsciously.

"Dowoon!" Wonpil shouted, surprised and fearful that the boy would hurt himself.

Wonpil immediately grabbed his hands and linked their fingers together to stop Dowoon's hands from forming fists.

"Shhh... You're okay. You're okay." He repeated, lowering their clasped hands to the blanket.

Dowoon didn't know how, but those words made him feel safe and reassured. His breathing evened out a bit as he looked around the room. What was he doing here, in what he supposed was Wonpil's room. Why was he even in Wonpil's house?

Suddenly, he frantically sat up, looking around for his duffle bag. If he had left it on the roof top, he would have nothing. No money, clothes, anything to keep him from going back to his father's house. He panicked at the thought of losing it, until he spotted it in a corner of the room and sighed inaudibly with relief.

He was very confused and turned his eyes towards the boy hovering over him.

Wonpil had been studying Dowoon for the past ten minutes as he slept, and was momentarily started when he awoke. The boy had cuts all over his left arm and a purplish bruise forming on his right cheek. Wonpil furrowed his eyebrows as he saw the injuries littered all around the boy's body.

When Dowoon awoke, it was clear he was close to having a panic attack. Wonpil did the only thing he could, which was try to calm him down, repeating the words he said to him on the rooftop. This seemed to work, as Dowoon's breathing slowed and his eyes flicked across the room and focused on his bag, before landing on Wonpil.

Dowoon's eyes were a deep brown, bordering on the jet black of his hair. They were wide open while looking at him, almost making Wonpil drown in their hurt and pain. Tears began pooling in Dowoon's eyes making Wonpil begin to panic.

Instinctively, he pulled the boy into his arms, rubbing his back and letting him cry into his shoulder. He repeated the last words he said over and over into Dowoon's ear, attempting to comfort him in any way he could. His heart hurt for the boy who he never interacted with or paid any attention to, until today. Seeing the boy so vulnerable and broken sent multiple pangs of pain into his heart and he only hugged him tighter.

Dowoon was so overwhelmed with the day that he didn't even notice when he began to cry. Thoughts were constantly running through his head. Mostly featuring his father, his current situation, how messed up he was, and how he should have died.

A small occupancy of those thoughts were also about the boy in front of him. He wondered why Wonpil would even comfort him, but he didn't complain. His father had never touched him again since he announced he was gay, and yesterday was the first time he had ever hit him again.

The last time he was ever hugged or even touched by another person, so affectionately, was by his mother the night she died. He cried and sobbed silently into Wonpil's shoulder, uncaring at the moment, of what the other boy would think of him.

He felt comfy and safe in his arms, which he never believed he would experience again. He relished in it as long as he could before remembering Wonpil had just seen him at his lowest point. Realization hit him and forced him to pull out of the embrace to look into Wonpil's eyes again.

Wonpils eyes were worried while he asked, "Dowoon? Are you okay? What happened?" Why were you trying to kill yourself?

Dowoon did not answer and hung his head, staring at the plain white comforter on Wonpil's bed. He had already caused enough trouble for Wonpil, and felt his cheeks heat in embarrassment.

Wonpil tried to get Dowoon to lift his head, biting his lip in worry. He didn't know the full story of why Dowoon was running away or trying to kill himself. Hell, he didn't know anything about the boy, other than he had hordes of girls following him constantly and he was barely in any of their shared classes, opting to skip out and sleep.

Wonpil felt guilty and regretted that he never paid more attention to Dowoon. The thought that the boy was going to die today if he hadn't stumbled onto the rooftop, made his heart hurt even more.

That was enough knowledge to make him instantly lift Dowoon's head, gently, to meet his eyes. Wonpil moved his hand to cup Dowoon's cheek, and brushed his thumb over the newly formed bruise. How did he get this? He wondered, staring into the others eyes.

"Dowoon." He inquired, seriously. "Were you running away?"

Dowoon could have answered that question in a million ways. He was running from his father. He was running from memories he wished to forget. He was running from the guilt he had from believing he killed his mom. He was running away from the misery his dad had caused him. He had been running with nowhere to go, so he had finally run to the rooftop where he knew it was his little safe haven.

He was running so hard that he didn't realize he was running from his life, until someone had pulled him from the ledge. He was running from a million things, and he didn't know which one Wonpil wanted him to answer.

In the end he just nodded and let Wonpil interpret whichever one he wanted.

Wonpil's eyes hardened and softened at the same time, feeling sympathy for Dowoon.

It was that moment that he felt a fierce need to protect this boy from all harm. He didn't know what Dowoon went through to get him to this point, but he knew that he never wanted it to happen again.

~~

Brian and Jae had been discussing the basketball game, standing at the front gates of the school. Brian didn't actually think Jae would keep conversing with him outside of the court, but he generally liked having someone to talk to, even if Jae was a speedy talker and got excited over everything. It was exactly the opposite of Brian, who was usually serious and unimpressed over everything.

However, Brian found himself enjoying their conversation, letting it easily flow from one topic to another. He had never talked to someone for this long in the entire school year, people being too scared to approach him, much less try to be his friend.

They switched back and forth between Korean and English, whichever one came easier in the sentence. Speaking with Jae became natural and easy, and Brian even laughed once or twice.

Throughout their conversation, Brian noticed Haru standing to the side of them, looking as if she wanted to join the conversation but did not know what they were saying half the time. Brian made it a point to talk in English more than Korean and dutifully ignored her.

Jae was so excited to finally have a friend he could speak English with that he had forgotten Haru was there.

Their talk had turned to video games, which both the boys loved, when Brian mentioned he had gotten the new Overwatch game recently.

"No way!" Jae exclaimed, laughing happily. "Dude, you have got to let me play!"

Jae practically invited himself over, after hearing no obligations (or more like giving Brian no time to object), and confirming the plans when he told Haru he would be heading home with Brian.

When Brian glanced back at Haru, he did not even notice the other person who came outside, until Sungjin began looking at him strangely. He immediately dropped his smile, turning it into a scowl when he saw Sungjin looking at him.

Haru gave him a funny look before bidding them goodbye. Brian ignored her, being too distracted by the arm Jae had threw over his shoulder again. Jae talked on and on on their walk to his house, and surprisingly, Brian didn't mind. He even smiled or chuckled lightly at some of the things Jae said. He had a slight blush on his cheeks the entire walk, noticing how Jae's arm was still on his shoulder.

He was nervous and excited but he just chalked it all up to winning the basketball game earlier.

~~

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if the switching POV's is confusing.. Or the non-switching pov's. like its all third person but I recount some same events that two characters may have participated in but like retell it focusing on one specific character to give more about what they were feeling at the time. but the entire story is focused on all the characters, developing all the ships, so I rotate between all of them LOL


	3. You should smile more, I know it's there, I saw it just 2 seconds ago

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG so i was reading back at the last two chapters and omg im so sorry for all the spelling mistakes AAHAHA i barely edit this im sorry!!  
> Ohh, and I know Jae is actually older than Brian irl, but I just thought him calling Brian "hyung" would be so cute! So i made him younger in this fic looool

The day of the fair had quickly arrived, and everyone was excited about it.

It was only an excuse for the school to make more money, and have the kids occupied with cheap food and impossible games. It was a flimsy and pathetic thing that should not have warranted any excitement or entertainment, but was still a favourite school event that the students loved.

Every year Haru and Jae would go together, and this year was no different. Haru was pulling Jae by the hand, eager to get into the fair and buy some cotton candy. Jae let himself be pulled, laughing, knowing about Haru's sweet tooth.

They had been at the fair no longer than ten minutes, before Jae had spotted Brian at an ice cream stand. Jae's eyes lit up and he called out to him, walking up to where he was standing. Haru saw him too, and followed Jae towards him.

"Hyung!" He called, and Brian turned when he heard his voice.

Jae caught up to him saying, "You don't mind if I call you that, right hyung?"

Brian was surprised at the term but nodded his head.

Haru shyly nodded her head towards him, Brian only sparing her a glance.

"Hyung, come join us! We're about to go on the drop tower." He pointed to the small attraction that barely offered much thrill, only about 50 feet off the ground.

Brian paled slightly while looking at the tower but didn't want Jae to know he was afraid of heights. He put on a mask of indifference and tried to make up an excuse not to get on the ride.

"I just had some ice cream, I don't know, I might throw up."

"Aw, come on! You won't throw up, the ride is tiny. Please?" Jae begged and Brian disagreed, the ride was very much not tiny.

However, he complied, not wanting to disappoint his friend.

Yesterday Jae had spent the entire afternoon at his house, talking with him, playing video games, and eating his food. Brian found that he didn't mind much.

Jae talked to him as if they had been friends for years, instead o two people who had only started talking that day. Deep down, Brian admitted it was nice having someone that wanted to hang out with him.

Being an only child, he never had any siblings to play with as a kid, and his parents would always be too busy with work to play with their kid. They were both lawyers at the same work firm and barely saw each other outside of the office. Both his parents were very passionate about their jobs, Brian thinking they sometimes cared more about their cases than their child. He grew up in a very big and lonely house, his parents neglect making him bitter towards them.

When he was in his first years of high school, he tried everything to make his parents notice him. He pierced his ears, got into fights, broke school rules. But every time the principle would call his parents, it would go straight to his parents secretary, or they wouldn't even show up to see what their son had done.

Even when he got suspended from his school, his parents didn't even make it home from work that day. Brian had only got an email that stated they were disappointed in him and that they had transferred him to a different school. He had punched a wall that day.

He barely saw his parents more than twice a week, but he had gotten used to it, and given up trying to get their attention. His parents never spent time with him and everyone at school avoided him from the rumors of his behavior at his old school. He never expected anyone to ever want to genuinely be around him with him because of this.

However, Jae did not comment on the fact that there was no one in his giant house, or that his room was incredibly messy because Brian never bothered to clean it. Why would he when no one ever came in it? Not even his parents.

"It's okay, my rooms 10 times messier, I swear." He said, with a smile that made Brian feel less embarrassed and a little relieved.

Having Jae with him had made him actually a little bit of joy for the first time in forever, and he couldn't stop smiling the entire time. He blamed it on making his first friend, ever, although that sounded really pathetic, even in his head.

Brian had never planned to go to the fair that day, seeing it as a cheap and useless event to entertain students who had nothing else to do. But the thought of spending another weekend in his empty house made him want to scream, so he opted to go to the fair instead.

He decided on just walking around, seeing the games and maybe getting some food. Here, he could at least surround himself with people so he would convince himself he wasn't lonely.

However, it was getting harder after a while of walking around doing nothing. He wished Jae was here with him, but then shook the stray thought away. Just because Jae had hung out with him yesterday due to a split second decision, that probably didn't mean he would want to continue their friendship. He cursed himself for even wanting Jae to be there with him.

As if materialized by his thought, he heard a voice call behind him, and instinctively turned around.

Jae was running up to him, Haru not far behind. Brian didn't know how but one minute Jae was calling him hyung and then he somehow convinced him to go on the drop tower, even though Brian had an extreme fear of heights.

The ride was not that big, but he still felt nervous going on it. Brian tried to stall and lag back, but Jae grabbed his hand firmly and dragged him towards the ride. Brian felt his palms begin to sweat and tried to pull away, but Jae held onto him, claiming he would run away.

When they got on the ride, Brian ended up sitting in between Jae and Haru. Before the descending even started, he was closing his eyes tight and trying to breathe slowly.

During the entire ride, Brian had his eyes closed shut and tried to maintain his indifference, but the way he grit his teeth and clenched his eyes, told a different story. Brian had hated heights ever since he was a kid and anything above 10 feet above the ground made him nervous.

Brian reached blindly for the handrail and grabbed something soft instead. At the moment however, he was too scared to even notice it wasn't a hard metal bar under his hand, and only tightened his grip on whatever he was holding.

He could hear Jae screaming in ecstasy next to him, and prayed the ride would be over soon. In reality the ride was only about a total of 45 seconds, but to Brian it felt like an eternity. He wouldn't open his eyes however much Jae would tell him to look. And when the final rush downwards was over, Brian stumbled off the ride as fast as he could, letting go of whatever he was holding.

Jae caught up to him, clapping him on the back, saying, "That wasn't so bad, was it?"

Brian tried to glare back but he could only muster an incredulous look. Jae laughed loudly and dragged him away to go buy popcorn. Unsurprisingly, Brian liked this idea a whole lot more than the previous.

It also may have something to do with the hand in his that Jae had grabbed before dragging him along.

~~

Haru's heart began to beat faster the minute she spotted Brian next to the ice cream stand. She was secretly excited to see him again, even if she was too shy to say much to him.

She let Jae convince him to go on the drop tower with them, and sat herself next to his other side. Jae was much too excited to notice that his friend had not even opened his eyes since they sat down, or that his breathing was coming a little faster.

Haru, however, noticed immediately that Brian had a fear of heights. She realized he was not actually as tough as he seemed, and her thoughts quickly flashed back to the blinding smile she saw on his face at the basketball game. The thought that he was actually secretly afraid of heights, but tried to act tough, made her smile endearingly.

She also saw the way he was going to break his knuckles with the way he was gripping the handrail. When he reached out to grab it again, she instead placed her hand into his. She liked the feeling of his bigger, calloused hand in hers, even if he was gripping a little too tight.

The ride had passed in only a few more seconds, but Brian had still not opened his eyes. Once they were back on the ground, he practically ran off the ride, dropping her hand immediately.

She was a little disappointed, especially when Jae had already dragged Brian away, yelling something about popcorn. She didn't think Brian even realized he was holding her hand, too busy trying not to hurl as he came off the ride.

She was not mad at Jae for making friends with him, actually happy she had a reason to talk to Brian. But, she was a little hurt that they had already run off without her.

She sighed, before feeling a buzz in her pocket, signalling a text.

She opened her phone and saw she had a notification from Sungjin. She genuinely liked Sungjin, thinking his easy going and nice manner made him a good friend.

Although she secretly wanted to stay close to Brian, it was evident he was only interested in hanging out with Jae right now.

_Hey, I'm at the fair, are you already here? We could meet up somewhere?_

She smiled lightly, not minding hanging out with Sungjin. She liked their conversations and he was always nice to her.

_I'm by the drop tower, come meet me! We can get some food :)_

~~

After multiple reassurances and comforting words on Wonpil's part, Dowoon had fallen back asleep on Wonpil's bed. Wonpil spent a few extra minutes just sitting on the best next to the boy, stroking his hair, noticing that it calmed him down.

He felt fierce protectiveness wash over him as he noticed how the boy curled up into a ball unconsciously as he slept.

Wonpil immediately got up and grabbed his phone to text Sungjin, telling him he couldn't make it to the fair tomorrow. They usually went every year together, but Wonpil decided it would be better if he didn't go this time and stayed home to take care of Dowoon instead.

He didn't know what happened to the boy, or the reason he was running away, but seeing the boy sleep on his bed made him realize just how vulnerable Dowoon was. Wonpil wanted to protect him from everything he was running from.

Sungjin immediately texted back that it was fine and Wonpil felt slightly hurt that his friend didn't even care whether he was there or not. He didn't inquire over the reason Wonpil was not going, and Wonpil had the depressing thought that Sungjin had forgotten they were even going to go together.

He sighed, looking at his phone, before looking back at the bed where Dowoon was sleeping. He walked up to the side of the bed where Dowoon lay and bent down next to the bed.

Dowoon's face looked even younger when he was asleep and so peaceful, not like only a couple minutes ago when he was close to panicking.

Thinking about the boy's situation, he wondered what he could do for him. It was obvious the boy was running away from home, if the clothes and money in his duffle bag were any indication. He probably didn't have any place to stay, and although Wonpil didn't know what happened, he was sure Dowoon would not want to go back to his own house.

Wonpil had a bleeding heart, and coupled with the fact that the boy had tried to commit suicide, he couldn't let him live out on the streets or at a shelter.

He decided that Dowoon was to stay with him, in his house. He was sure his parents would not mind, they were always supportive of Wonpil and were the kindest people he knew. His older sister had left for university two years ago, so the house had a spare room where Dowoon could sleep. His resolution reaffirmed, he got up to begin preparing Dowoon's new room.

~~

Dowoon woke up for the second time in the unfamiliar place and instantly remembered he was in Wonpil's room. He sat up slowly, assessing his situation.

Wonpil was nowhere in the room and his duffle bag was still in the corner. He got up from the bed and made his way over to his bag. He let out a breath of relief when he saw that everything was intact and nothing was missing. He grabbed the bag and spotted the door.

He couldn't stay here. He had to find someplace to stay and live until graduation. Then he could hightail out of here and get into a university across the country. It was a good dream, but only made Dowoon realize how desperate his situation was.

Graduation was only a month away and his grades were less than stellar. He always skipped class to go to the rooftop, the only escape he had from his father and everyone else.

He regretted all the lessons he skipped. There was no way he was going to pull through with the grades he had now, unless he aced the exam.

He played with the idea of just dropping out of school, but quickly shook it away. There was no way anyone would hire him without even a high school diploma. He would be working at fast food chains for the rest of his life; barely enough to even get the cheapest one bedroom apartment.

There in lay another problem about where he was to live for now. He would definitely not be going back to his father's house and the rooftop could only serve its purpose for so long.

He began to hyperventilate, thinking about his current situation. How was he even still alive? He did not go on the rooftop with the intention to throw himself off it, but now that it was unsuccessful, he secretly wished it had worked.

The only thing he knew was that he needed to get away as fast as he could. Get away from this house. Get away his father. Get away from the tiny bit of kindness and comforting words Wonpil had whispered to him. Get away before he gets attached. He quickly stood and started towards the door of the bedroom. He almost made it to the stairs before almost colliding into Wonpil. Wonpil stared at Dowoon, who began fidgeting under his stare.

"Where are you going?" Wonpil asked concernedly, eying the duffle bag over his shoulders.

Dowoon looked uncomfortable and just shrugged, wanting to get out of there quickly.

Wonpil's eyes widened and immediately grabbed Dowoon's hand.

"There is no way you're leaving. Look, I don't know what happened to you, or what you're running from. But, I do know that you probably have no place to go right now and I am not going to let you throw yourself off the roof again!" Wonpil passionately said, gripping Dowoon's hand tightly.

Dowoon had stilled ever since Wonpil had first grabbed his hand, and now stared into Wonpil's eyes. Wonpil did not back down and continued looking straight at him.

Nobody had ever cared about Dowoon after his mother's death and hearing someone passionately defend and care about him left him shocked.

He was still looking at Wonpil with his mouth open when Wonpil spoke again, more softly this time.

"You're staying here." He said, gently, noticing he had taken the boy back a bit. "With me. Here, in my house. Okay?" Wonpil started rubbing small circles into the hand he was gripping, loosening his hold slightly.

Dowoon should have said no, he tried to shake his head. There was a funny feeling in his stomach, and he could barely focus with Wonpil rubbing his hand.

He realized, however, that he would never survive without Wonpil's help. In a moment of weakness, he lowered his head and nodded ever so slightly.

Wonpil saw this all and breathed out in relief.

He drew Dowoon into his arms again, which left Dowoon worrying about how much he began to like Wonpil's hugs.

~~

 

Back at the fair, Sungjin was walking around, trying to get to the drop tower.

It wasn't that hard to find as it was the tallest attraction in the fair. He instantly spotted Haru and called out to her, waving. She turned around and smiled at him. His breath hitched because she looked so beautiful.

Her hair was a dark brown, shimmering in the sun, and the dress she wore complimented her perfectly. Sungjin was completely taken with her, heart beating wildly. He walked up to her calmly, however, and greeted her.

"Oppa!" She smiled.

"So, food?" He asked.

She laughed and started walking in the direction of the food stands. He fell into step beside her and took a moment just to stare at her. She turned to him, questioningly, and he turned his eyes back in front of him.

"So, where's Jae?" He asked.

"Oh," she said, her cheeks colouring slightly. "He's with Brian."

Sungjin tried not to grin, but he was secretly glad that Jae was hanging out with Brian so he wouldn't hang out with Haru as much. He had nothing against Jae; he actually liked the boy a lot as a friend. He was funny, and able to make friends with almost everybody. However, Sungjin could never talk to Haru alone when Jae was there.

They walked mostly in silence to the food stands, but Sungjin didn't mind. He didn't talk much in general. When he did it was mostly with Wonpil, who knew when Sungjin wanted to talk and when he didn't.

His thoughts wandered to Wonpil, wondering what his best friend was doing today. He had texted him yesterday, saying he couldn't go to the fair with him.

Truthfully, Sungjin had forgotten they were supposed to go together, too excited about getting Haru's number and maybe being able to spend the day with her.

He had felt a little bad he forgot about his best friend, but since he said he couldn't make it anyway, he might as well spend it with Haru.

All thoughts of Wonpil were brushed aside, when Haru began speaking to him again.

They chatted lightly about school and the fair before getting their food. Two stalls next to them, Sungjin saw Brian and Jae, laughing as they bought popcorn. Evidently, Haru saw them too, because she had a look in her eye as she stared at them.

"Haru?"

"Oh, yes? Sorry, I just spaced out for a minute." She said, laughing.

She had actually been captivated by Brian's smile once again, staring at him while he laughed with Jae. But she wasn't about to tell Sungjin that.

Sungjin looked at her for a moment before turning back to the food. After a moment, she did too. Sungjin studied Haru closely and saw she was always sneaking glances towards the two boys, who had now sat down on the grass to eat their popcorn.

Brian was pelting it at Jae while the other tried to catch the kernels in his mouth. They were laughing so loudly, Sungjin could hear them from where they were standing.

Haru had continued to stare at them, making Sungjin notice in the frequency. Sungjin suddenly remembered what the two girls in study period had said about Jae and Haru.

He looked back at Haru staring at Jae and Brian, and came up to the conclusion that the rumours might be true.

Dejected and slightly jealous, he tried to focus her attention more on him, and engaged her in a conversation about her family.

~~

Brian had been having fun. It sounded ridiculous even to him. If you told him that he'd be having fun for the first time in his life, with his very first friend, at the school fair to boot, he would've scoffed and told you to see the school psychiatrist. Be that as it may, here he was, laughing loudly at a story Jae was animatedly re-enacting.

"And then, I turned the corner and there she was! She was wearing that green dress she always does -the one that makes her look like a piece of celery, and I was panicking, but I wasn't going to let that show. So she was all like, 'Young man, what are you doing in this hallway when you're supposed to be learning in a classroom?' So I said, 'Not so young woman, what are you doing in this hallway when you're supposed to be teaching in a classroom?'" Jae retold, folding his arms over his chest acting serious, and pitching his voice to perfect his impressions.

"And that was how I got my first detention." He finished with a flourish.

Brian burst out laughing. An open mouthed, scrunched eyed, full body laugh. He hadn't laughed like this in who knows how long. He was having so much fun, he didn't notice when Jae had stopped laughing with him. Across from him, Jae sat with his elbows on the grass, lazily gazing at Brian with a smile.

"What?" Brian asked, starting to feel self-conscious.

Jae grinned, "Nothing, just never seen you laugh before."

"Yeah, well." Brian grunted, trying to dim down his smile.

Jae sat up, "No, no, don't stop. I like you're laugh. And your smile."

Brian couldn't stop his ears from heating slightly, and stared at the grass in front of him. He grabbed another popcorn kernel to munch on, just to avoid smiling stupidly at Jae again.

"C'mon where's that smile? I know it's there, I saw it just two seconds ago. Where could it have gone?" Jae scratched his chin, in fake contemplation, even turning his head, as if looking around.

Brian had to crack a smile, grinning at Jae's childishness.

"There it is!"

"Dude, I'm not two years old."

"I know. I'm just messing with ya. Hey, race you to that basketball game? I bet I'd win, no problem. Loser buys the other ice cream." Jae suggested.

"But I've already had ice cream." Brian said.

"Guess you'll just have to let me win then!" Jae cackled, already up and zooming towards the game.

Brian chuckled but instantly got up and raced after Jae. He wouldn't mind purposely losing if he was honest.

~~

 


	4. Why do you have your smile for him, it is usually only mine

The weekend passed just as quickly as it came, and Monday saw the students all rushing through the halls, or gathering books from their lockers before school started. Jae and Haru had been standing in front of Haru's locker, chatting idly before first period.

"So, where'd you go after the drop tower? Me and Brian didn't see you. You could've joined us you know." Jae raised his eyebrows at her, questioning.

Haru smiled but shook her head, "You guys were having fun, and it looked like Brian didn't want me there anyways."

She smiled, a little less genuine this time, and Jae noticed.

"Aw come on! That's so not true! Brian actually really l-likes you! He said you're really... nice and... pretty and stuff. Yeah." Jae said, awkwardly.

Brian had actually never said anything of the sort, but he didn't want Haru to think Brian did not like her. Brian never really showed any interest in Haru besides cold indifference, and Jae was too busy with his new friend to notice the way he acted towards his old one.

But, he still didn't want Haru thinking Brian didn't like her. They were both his friends, and he didn't want to hurt her feelings. He didn't want to lose either of them as his friends. He was beginning to really like Brian, the elder making himself a part of Jae's life faster than than he thought.

"Really?" Haru said, slightly blushing.

Jae nodded, a little awkwardly for he was never the best liar, especially towards people he had known for a long time. He breathed out a little in relief when Haru didn't notice anything amiss.

Haru was too busy thinking about what he friend had said, she hadn't notice his slight stutter than always appeared when he was lying.

She told herself not to get excited, a little something close to giddiness building in her stomach.

She couldn't stop thinking about his hand in hers ever since the fair yesterday and mentally replayed every moment they had encountered each other since the first time he bumped into her in the hallway. Just thinking about his intense stare, or his hand on her mouth as they stood so close in the art classroom, made her heart beat faster than it should.

Even now, thinking about Brian made colour rise in her cheeks. She mentally willed her blush to go away. Before it could though, she saw someone walking in their direction, and the blush stayed on full force.

Brian's head was down, looking at this ground as he walked down the hall, slinging his bag over his shoulder.

Obviously Jae saw him too, because he said, "Oh look it's hyung now! Hyung!" He called, waving him over.

Brian had an impassive look on his face, with his eyebrows scrunched, glaring at everyone who dared to make eye contact.

Suddenly he heard the same voice who called to him at the fair, again in front of him. He looked up and saw Jae with Haru waving him over.

Brian immediately smiled lightly seeing Jae, which completely changed his face.

The surprise of the students was evident, for they had never seen anything but a sarcastic smile on his face. They wondered why Brian was smiling like that, and concluded it must be because of Haru, who he was walking over too.

Brian ignored all of them, and walked up to the pair, only glancing quickly at Haru before saying hi to Jae.

Haru's heart had begun to speed up the minute Brian had looked up at them, and continued to race while he walked towards them. She forced herself not to act strange around him, as she looked at his face.

Brian was undeniably handsome, his strong brows and chiseled face going perfectly with his dark hair and unkempt uniform. It gave him an all around bad boy look, matching with the scowl permanently etched on his face and the earrings dangling from his ears.

Haru couldn't deny that she thought he was attractive, his gaze making her breath stop when he even glanced at her.

He chose that moment to minutely glance at her, and she continued staring at him while he spoke with Jae. Did he really think her pretty? It made her heart beat faster just at the thought.

"Hey hyung, did you get that new game I told you about?"

"Yeah, it's amazing, the graphics are so much better in this than in the old one."

"Tell me about it. They're thinking of making a new version of the game soon too. Not going to be out for a few months though. I'm gonna beg my parents for it."

The two boys continued to converse in a mixture of Korean and English, most of which no one could barely understand.

Even Haru, (who Jae taught a few stray English sentences to), was lost on what they were talking about.

The students, who had been watching the exchange, looked on in confusion and wonder. The boys began walking towards their next class together, still speaking excitingly in English.

Haru trailed beside them, mind still reeling about what Jae had said before.

She was lost in thought, and didn't notice what was happening until Jae inquired, "Right, Haru?"

She started and looked up to see Jae and Brian looking at her expectantly.

"Oh yeah, of course!" She replied, having no idea what she was agreeing to.

"Great! Well, guess we'll see you on Friday then!" Jae grinned at Brian.

Brian offered a small smile towards him and walked off to his own class.

"What did I just agree to?" Haru asked the minute he was gone.

"Party at your place. He's invited, right?"

Haru had almost forgotten. On Friday it was her birthday. She was finally turning 18 and her parents said she could throw a party at their house, since they would be away on a business trip.

They trusted their daughter not to make a mess while they were gone. Haru didn't have that many friends, opting to just stick to Jae most of the time. However, she was friendly with everyone, and almost everyone in the school knew who she was.

With Jae's endless list of friends, he had decided this party had to be epic and invited almost the entire school! Haru had sighed exasperatedly but let him do whatever he wanted. She knew he would never get her into too much trouble.

The thought of Brian being there made anticipation build in her stomach, and however the party went, she knew it was going to be eventful.

~~

 

Dowoon had been staying at Wonpil's house for a few days now and was still adjusting.

The first night he had been there, Wonpil's parents had come home early from work and saw him sitting on the couch. His parents had been kind and warming the minute they spotted him.

After Wonpil explained his situation and how he had nowhere to stay, his parents instantly agreed he could stay in his sister's old bedroom. He left out the part where Dowoon had tried to kill himself and Dowoon was eternally grateful for that.

They immediately took to the boy, even if the first time they tried to talk to him was a bit awkward. They inquired him about his family and the boy's face automatically fell. Wonpil had leaned over and whispered quietly that he was mute and his mom's eyes widened in surprise.

She immediately apologized at least five times and went to hug the poor boy who looked like he was in shock. He stood stiffly before awkwardly patting her back. Wonpil had watched on with a fond expression, before wrestling his mom away from him. He knew his mom would love Dowoon the minute she saw him and decided to drag him away before she squeezed him to death.

Dowoon looked a bit startled but followed Wonpil back to the room he had prepared for him.

"Sorry about my mom, she's a bit much, I know." Wonpil said sheepishly.

Dowoon shook his head, indicating he didn't mind, and Wonpil breathed out in relief.

"Anyways, this is your room. Sorry for the pink bedsheets. They were noona's before she went to college."

Dowoon was busy looking around, when he turned slightly and Wonpil's eyes noticed the cuts all over his arm and shoulder once again. His brows furrowed and he reached out to touch the cuts. Dowoon flinched and sucked in a breath quickly.

"Come, we have to get those cleaned." Wonpil frowned, leading him to the bathroom.

Dowoon glanced down at his arm, having momentarily forgotten about his injuries. Now that he noticed them, they began to lightly sting. He dutifully followed Wonpil into the bathroom, where Wonpil grabbed some alcohol and a cloth. He instructed him to strip his shirt, which Dowoon did hesitantly.

Wonpil blushed lightly, seeing Dowoon's lean but slightly toned body. However, he was instantly sobered when he saw the small glass shards still stuck in his arm.

He sucked in a quick breath, looking into Dowoon's eyes. Dowoon only stared back in slight pain. Wonpil breathed before grabbing tweezers off the counter.

"This is going to hurt." He said, sympathetically.

Dowoon nodded before gritting his teeth.

After Wonpil had taken all of the glass bottle shards out of Dowoon's shoulder, he disinfected and cleaned the cuts before bandaging his arm. He went to the kitchen to get some ice for Dowoon's cheek before coming back to see him sitting on his bed, still shirtless.

He blushed again before walking up to him and pressing the ice gently against Dowoon's cheek. Dowoon continued to stare into Wonpil's eyes, unnerving him. Wonpil felt his ears turn red and wished for the first time that Dowoon would speak instead of just staring at him.

He noticed Dowoon was still in his tattered jeans and Wonpil had already thrown out the thin long sleeve he had been wearing before. The shirt had been cut several times in the shoulder and was stained lightly with blood.

Wonpil handed the ice to Dowoon before rifling through his closet to find a shirt that would fit him. Dowoon was about the same size as Wonpil, only slightly a bit bigger and his shoulders were a bit wider.

Wonpil picked out a shirt and an old sweater that had been slightly too big on him and handed them to Dowoon. Dowoon didn't question why he hadn't just grabbed some clothes he had brought in his duffle bag, and instead slipped the clothes over his head. The hoodie was obviously well worn, but still warm and soft.

The clothes smelled like Wonpil, which was a mix of caramel and coconut. It was a smell Dowoon immediately began to associate with the other boy, and it made something warm bloom in his chest. He felt comfortable and safe.

Wonpil dug in his closet for a bit longer before handing him a pair of sweatpants too. Wonpil turned around as Dowoon slipped those on and Dowoon noticed the small blush dusting his cheeks when Wonpil turned away.

Dowoon felt like he was abusing Wonpil's kindness and felt overwhelmed. They had never talked in school and he didn't think the other even knew who he was. Yet he was willing to help him, even letting him stay in his house. His eyes watered slightly, looking back at Wonpil. He mouthed a slightly shaky 'thank you' to Wonpil, who smiled softly before nodding his head.

"You're welcome."

~~

Wonpil had been making breakfast in the kitchen when he heard hesitant footsteps begin descending down the stairs.

Immediately knowing it was Dowoon, he called to him saying, "I hope you like pancakes! I'm making banana chocolate chip!"

He saw Dowoon's head pop up from behind the staircase and he motioned for him to sit. Dowoon walked over to the kitchen counter and sat at one of the bar stools, silently watching Wonpil cook. Dowoon never said anything but Wonpil kept the conversation going as to never make Dowoon feel bad that he didn't reply.

After a while, Wonpil's parents came down the stairs. Dowoon instantly stood up and began bowing to them, before they shook their heads and told him he didn't need to do that. Dowoon sat down again, nodding with embarrassment. Wonpil watched the exchange with amusement, this being the third time it happened since Dowoon began staying at his house. He quickly turned his attention back to the pancakes, however, before they burned.

"Breakfast!" He called while setting some pancakes on everyone's plate.

He received a chorus of thank yous and a nod and smile from Dowoon before settling down to eat breakfast himself. Today was Monday and their first day back at school since the rooftop incident. Dowoon was nervous and so was Wonpil.

He was nervous that Dowoon might try what he did only a few days ago. Dowoon was smiling more nowadays, especially in the presence of his parents, but Wonpil noticed that he always had a inconsolable and faraway look on his face whenever he was alone. Sometimes Wonpil had to call his name three times before the boy would be shaken out of his thoughts.

Wonpil didn't know how this boy made himself so important to Wonpil in only a couple days but he knew he didn't want anything bad happening to him.

Dowoon was extremely grateful to Wonpil and his parents but he couldn't help but feeling he was being a burden towards them. They were letting him stay in their house, eat their food, and they were being so nice to him even though he was mute.

Dowoon constantly got flashbacks about his father and he couldn't help but compare Wonpil's parents to his. It made his heart ache whenever they were kind to him. He missed his mom even more in times like that.

Dowoon was also worried about what he was going to do at school. He wondered how he could boost his grades up, if it was even possible at all, and contemplated speaking to his teachers about what he should do.

Suddenly, Wonpil's mother broke through both boys thoughts. "So, honey, I haven't heard about Sungjin in a while? How is he?" She inquired, innocently.

Dowoon looked intently at Wonpil too, knowing that he and Sungjin were best friends. He felt guilty if he was the reason he had kept him away from his best friend. The two were always close, Dowoon had always seen Wonpil walking home with Sungjin from the top of the roof.

Wonpil fidgeted in his seat, poking his pancakes around aimlessly.

"He's okay, I guess." He answered, despondantly.

"Just okay? You guys haven't been talking?" His mother asked, concerned.

"Yeah." He said, and went back to eating, staring intently at his plate.

Dowoon studied him as he ate, noticing Wonpil's drop in mood.

Truthfully, Wonpil and Sungjin had barely been talking since the basketball game, which was a few days ago. Sungjin had not texted him again after replying to Wonpil's text about not being able to make the fair, and Wonpil was too busy with Dowoon to try to talk to him again. When he had checked his phone this morning, he noticed he had no messages from Sungjin, which made him feel disappointed and slightly hurt.

Both boys excused themselves before changing into their school clothes and heading out the door. The walk to school was silent, not even Wonpil trying to make conversation.

When they arrived there, Dowoon grabbed Wonpil's hand, sensing his quickly dampening mood. He squeezed it once before dropping it and heading to his locker. Wonpil watched Dowoon walk away and stared at his retreating back.

Wonpil's mood slightly lifted, he headed to his first class.

~~

Wonpil had been walking slowly to class when he felt someone come up next to him. Startled, he relaxed when he saw it was only Sungjin.

"Wonpil! Where have you been?" Sungjin asked, falling into step next to him.

Wonpil's heart raced a little faster like it always did when Sungjin was around, but he ignored it as always.

"Nothing much." He responded, sounding indifferent.

"That's great. I didn't tell you did I?" Sungjin said, a little breathlessly.

"You know the fair that was on Friday? Guess who I spent it with?" He asked without waiting for an answer.

"Haru! We almost spent the entire day together! After the basketball game I drove her home, and she gave me her number, and we met up at the fair! I didn't think she would actually agree to meet up with me, but she did and we hung out for almost 3 hours!" He rambled on, excitedly, not noticing the frown on Wonpil's face.

When he heard that Sungjin had went to the fair with Haru instead of him it almost made him stop with hurt.

Sungjin didn't even notice Wonpil wasn't listening anymore, too occupied with recounting everything from the carnival. Every sentence about how great and amazing Haru is, and how Sungjin really liked her. Wonpil's stomach felt slightly wound at every word that came out of Sungjn's mouth, for reasons unknown.

When they finally reached their classroom, Sungjin immediately spotted Haru and sped towards her desk, calling her name. Wonpil tried not to be bothered and walked slowly and dejectedly towards his usual desk. He didn't want to be witness to Sungjin pining over Haru, nor did he want to get ignored by him the entire period.

Usually Sungjin sat with him, but since he was with Haru, Wonpil sat alone at the two person desk. He told himself he didn't care but he sighed before pulling out his books, intent on at least paying attention to the lesson if he had nothing to do.

He prayed the teacher would come in soon so it would atleast give Sungjin a reason to stop his conversation with Haru from across the class. Wonpil tried to ignore them, but the tightening in his stomach had increased in the period of time Sungjin had been talking to her.

Suddenly, two books were being loudly placed on his table in front of him. Wonpil looked up in surprise to see Dowoon settling nonchalantly in the seat across from him, not looking at him as he sat down.

Dowoon acted as if he didn't want to sit there by choice but Wonpil knew that Dowoon usually either skipped this class entirely or sat in the very back, usually sleeping. The boy only looked down at his books, but Wonpil saw that the tips of his ears were red.

The fact that Dowoon even sat in the front, next to Wonpil when he was sitting alone, made Wonpil's heart warm. He smiled at Dowoon, who was still looking down at his books, before looking at his own work, happy that he was atleast no longer alone at the table.

~~

Dowoon didn't know what came over him. Seeing Wonpil sit at his usual table alone, however, just didn't sit well with him. He glanced around the room, trying to find Sungjin, knowing they usually sat together. He spotted him at a table across the room with Haru, conversing with her while laughing.

Noticing Wonpil's frown and furrowed eyebrows, he put two and two together and realized Sungjin had ditched him to sit with her.

Not liking the sullen look on the boy's face, Dowoon had made a split second decision to sit with him. He had been about to ditch the whole class entirely, but did not want to return to the rooftop. He also realized he should at least try to pay attention in class so that he wouldn't fail the exam.

He started to feel embarrassed the minute he sat down on the chair, not knowing if it was okay for him to sit with Wonpil, or if the other was going to act like he didn't exist outside of his house.

He began doubting himself before he looked up and saw Wonpil giving him one of his gummy smiles which instantly made Dowoon's ears burn.

However, Dowoon felt satisfied when he saw Wonpil looking back down at his books, still smiling, having presumably forgotten about Sungjin.

~~

"Hey isn't that Wonpil?"

Sungjin turned at Haru's inquiry, looking at the boy in question. He saw him sitting at their usual table, but frowned when he saw another person sitting across from him, in the seat that was usually his.

His frown increased when he saw that Wonpil had his gummy smile on his face, directed at Dowoon. Sungjin felt something weird in his stomach; knowing Wonpil's gummy smiles were usually only reserved for him.

He wondered when they became such good friends, or when they even began talking to each other. Last week Wonpil had not spared a glance for the boy who had hordes of girls following him everywhere.

Likewise, Dowoon had not paid any attention to Wonpil at all during any of their shared classes last week.

"I didn't know Wonpil was friends with Dowoon?" Haru said, curiously.

"Me neither." Sungjin replied, still eyeing them.

"Oh, I forgot! This Friday is my birthday and I'd love if you would come to the party I'm throwing at my house."

Sungjin immediately turned his attention back to Haru, focusing on what she was saying.

New butterflies settled in his stomach, when he heard she wanted him at her party. Sungjin nodded, listening to Haru tell him she would text him the address, forgetting all about Wonpil and Dowoon.

~~

 


	5. Why am I feeling rain? You always bring the umbrella

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helllooo! Sorry for the slow updates, I actually have been swamped with school but love to put out new chapters for you guys! The entire story is actually already all planned out and i have finished writing like 3/5 of it, but i just need to push my ass into gear to get the rest done.   
> Anyways, hope y'all enjoy these next chapter, it was kinda rough. SUPER angsty for Wonpil, but you already knew when you read unrequited love that it would be angsty for him :( DW thooooo!!1

During the lunch hour, most students would be eating in the cafeteria area. Haru and Jae, however, always preferred to eat at the tables outside.

There were always less people there, almost no one but a few stragglers along with Haru and Jae that day. They had been discussing the party happening on Friday when suddenly they noticed a group of girls walking up to them.

The whole group had been eavesdropping on their conversation and came to tease them about their party. The girls in that group had always hated Haru and were particularly harsh to her. They were only jealous because she was pretty and everyone in the school loved her because she was kind.

Their "leader" was a tall girl named Jiwoo who believed everyone should do as she said because her family was rich. Her friends stuck to her because she had money and because they were too much cowards to stand up to Haru by themselves.

Jiwoo was always jealous of Haru because she had always had a not so secret crush on Jae since freshman year, but Jae had never really looked at any other girl besides Haru. They had been bothering Haru since the second year Haru had been at the school and Haru barely acknowledged them anymore.

"Oh look girls, Haru is having a party on Friday? Are we not invited?" She pouted, exaggeratedly, before she and her whole group burst out into high pitched giggles.

"Too bad no one's going to show up. She can't even make any friends either, do you even hang out with anybody else besides Jae?"

Haru ignored them, knowing that they loved to bother and get a reaction out of her. Jae didn't like what they were saying but only glared at them, knowing Haru wouldn't want him to cause a scene.

"We all know the real reason why Haru doesn't have any girl friends. She only likes to hang out with guys because she goes through a few of them per week." She continued to sneer.

"Wonder how many times she's tricked you Jae." Jiwoo said, acting sympathetic. "You think you're her only friend right? But actually she hangs out with ten other guys at the same time. You're only boy toy number 11."

Jae immediately jumped up to defend her but spotted one of the teachers walking a few feet away. Far enough not to hear what the girls were saying, but close enough to see what was happening and hear if anyone started yelling.

The things they were claiming were so widely ridiculous and far from the truth because Haru had only one best friend, which was Jae, and had never had a boyfriend in her entire life. The fact that these girls were trying to provoke her and targeting Jae at the same time made Haru irritated, not being able to sit and listen to the other girls lies.

She stood up and faced Jiwoo, staring at her in the eye. Jiwoo looked momentarily surprised but stood her ground and glared back at Haru. She also saw Jae getting angry but she didn't want to hide behind him. She silently motioned for him to back down.

"I never did any of those things, Jiwoo. At least I don't have to pay anyone to be my friends." Haru shot back.

Jiwoo's face turned a slight red before she scoffed, "Yeah, as if you even have any friends! Don't kid yourself Haru, Jae is only friends with you because you forced him to, aren't you Jae?"

Haru scoffed this time, "Just because you have a delusional crush on my best friend doesn't mean you can attack me. He will never even like you back."

"Why you little..." Jiwoo gritted before reaching her hand back to slap Haru in the face.

Haru slightly flinched but stood her ground, momentarily bracing for the impact.

Instead of feeling the sting of a slap, she only felt someone move themselves in front of her and block her body with theirs. She opened her eyes and found Brian catching Jiwoo's arm with his hand and holding it in place.

"What are you doing? Let go of me!" Jiwoo struggled under Brian's grip.

Brian said nothing but only held on harder, not letting her go.

"I'll tell Teacher Kim if you don't let go!" She threatened, raising her voice slightly, even though the boy in front of her was definitely stronger and had a good 10 cm on her.

"Go ahead." He said, motioning as if to call the teacher over, who was only a few feet away. "I'll tell her about those cigarettes you have in your pocket."

Jiwoo's eyes widened as she stared at him in shock. She flinched but pulled away from his grip, backing up.

She glared at Haru.

"This your newest boy toy, Haru? What did you have to do to get the school's loner bad boy to defend you?" She spat as she turned her glare onto Brian.

He glared back harder, taking a menacing step towards her.

She hastily took a step back from him before calling the rest of her pact towards her and leaving with all of them in tow.

Haru stared at Brian in shock, who had just saved her and got those girls away from her. Her head was still racing from whole ordeal.

Brian acted indifferent about the scene and without saying anything to the two left gaping; he turned back around and left as he came.

As he walked away, Haru could not help but stare his retreating back. She noticed her heart was beating a little too fast when replaying the scene of Brian protecting her from those girls.

~~

Brian had been sitting by himself under a tree when he heard voices start talking loudly from across the field. There was a shady spot underneath a tree that was just slightly off school property, where no one could see him, but he could still see the entire school.

No one disturbed him here, and he could practice his guitar as loud as he wanted without getting reprimanded from the teachers. He had loved music since he was a kid, the only thing that kept him company in his lonely house.

In elementary school, he found not a lot of people wanted to hang out with the silent kid whose parents never came to the talent shows or award ceremonies. Who was always glaring at people and getting I trouble because his parents were never there to reprimand him.

Growing up had been a lonely affair for Brian and his one savior had been music. At first it was just a way to pass the time but later, his love for rock music had made him into a really good bassist and guitarist. His singing voice wasn't bad either. He loved writing songs and creating lyrics to go along with the melody's he played. Over time, music became his only companion to keep him from dying of boredom.

As the strummed along to a new song he had been working on, he suddenly heard a commotion a few feet away by the main doors. He raised his head to see Jae and Haru sitting at one of the picnic tables outside, a group of girls crowding one end of the table. They had sneers across their faces and were obviously bothering the two at the table.

Brian set his guitar on the ground, curious as to what was going on, and also slightly confused as to why he cared.

He made his way towards them, walking slowly up to them, no one noticing his presence. He heard them saying some rude things about Haru, even spewing rude and accusatory phrases about her and Jae. For some reason, this made him mad and indignant that these girls would say these things when they obviously don't know anything about Haru or Jae.

Although he didn't talk or like Haru specifically, she was also Jae's best friend and he knew she valued his friendship, if they way Jae talked about her sometimes was any indication. Sporadically Brian would feel jealous when Brian talked too much about Haru, but he just blamed it on never having a friendship like theirs before.

Brian observed the tall girl at the front of the group, who seemed to be doing most of the talking, the rest just nodding and agreeing with whatever she was saying. She moved slightly and he saw the packet of cigarettes slip slightly out of her pocket.

He scoffed and saw the girl get angry at something Haru said. Brian didn't like where this was going and saw Jae also looked nervous about what was about to happen. He looked as if he wanted to defend Haru but held himself back.

Suddenly, the girl raised her hand as if ready to hit Haru. Brian realized Jae was a little too far, he'd have to walk all the way around the table to be able to reach Haru.

Brian had an internal debate with himself before deciding to just interfere. Brian slipped himself between them before grabbing the girls arm in the air. No way he was going to let her hit someone else.

The girl tried to struggle out of his grip but he knew she wouldn't actually tell the teacher anything that was happening. Not unless she wanted him to know about the cigarettes in her pocket.

She said some rude things about him which made his anger flare indignantly, but he held himself back because he just didn't care enough.

By the time she walked away with her group trailing behind her, Brian had turned back to see Haru staring at him in wonder and Jae staring at him in a mix of awe and shock.

Feeling restless under their states, Brian turned and walked back to his spot under the tree, acting as if none of that had ever happened.

~~

 

"Hey Wonpil!" Sungjin called as he maneuvered his way through people in the hallways.

Wonpil turned his head at the sound of his name being called and saw Sungjin coming up to him.

"Oh, hey Hyung."

"We got math now, huh? I heard Teacher So is in a bad mood because of a prank one of the seniors pulled, so he'll probably have our heads if we're late." Sungjin laughed.

It was almost like how they used to be, before Sungjin had started talking to Haru and began ignoring Wonpil. A small part of Wonpil was glad to have his friend back, even for this small moment, talking about anything besides Haru for once.

"Really? What was the prank?" Wonpil asked cautiously.

"Well, Jae told me one of the seniors had wrapped all the desks in his classroom with cello-wrap and he was not happy..."

The two boys walked on, Wonpil looking at Sungjin while he talked with a small smile gracing his face.

He never took his eyes off the boy, scarcely paying attention to what he was saying. It was just nice having Sungjin speaking to him again, and taking time to talk to Wonpil.

Wonpil enjoyed the feeling being around the other boy, and wanted to cling onto it as long as he could. Cling to Sungjin as long as he could.

Sungjin rambled on, not noticing the admiring stare of the younger boy.

~~

"Why don't we meet up today after school? On our usual walk home, let's head to the plaza. We could get some ice cream or something?" Sungjin said to Wonpil as soon as they sat down at their usual seats.

Wonpil was secretly glad Sungjin had sat with him in this class, not opting to sit on the seat by the window where he knew Haru was seated.

His stomach fluttered when he heard Sungjin asking him about hanging out after school. This was nothing new and the two best friends usually did this semi-regularly when they weren't swamped with school work. However, they haven't done it in a few weeks and Wonpil didn't have the heart to ask Sungjin when the other boy had hardly made it seem like they were still friends for the past few days.

Wonpil smiled one of his gummy smiles that always made Sungjin smile too, and agreed eagerly.

"Yes, of course. I love ice cream!" Wonpil nodded, already imagining the ice cream, but more importantly, spending time with the boy next to him.

Sungjin chuckled and looked at him fondly. "I know."

Hearing this made Wonpil's stomach flutter and he couldn't stop smiling for the rest of the class.

Unbeknownst to the two boys, a pair of silent eyes watched their exchange with a slight frown and furrowed brows.

~~

When the last bell for the school day rang, Sungjin had been walking out of his last class and heading towards his locker to gather some books before meeting Wonpil.

Haru's comment at the beginning of the day made him realize how little time he had been spending with the other boy, and truthfully, he had missed his best friend. He couldn't wait to see Wonpil's gummy smile that always appeared when he ate ice cream. Sungjin chucked to himself, fondly remembering how he always got some on his chin.

He was already finished emptying his locker when he spotted Haru sitting by herself on the back of one of the school staircases. His breath hitched when he saw how beautiful she looked in the bright lighting.

She was deep in thought and kept staring out onto the field, as if looking for someone. Sungjin quickly closed his locker and made his way towards her, tentatively opening the door to the stairwell.

"Haru?"

She turned abruptly, clearly startled.

"Oh Sungjin, hi." She smiled.

"What are you still doing here? Don't you and Jae usually walk home together?"

She didn't question how he knew this and instead answered, "Yeah, but Jae said he already went home with a friend today. I was just sitting here looking for someone. I can't seem to spot them though."

She began standing up, dusting off her skirt.

"I'll just get going." She said, shooting one last smile at Sungjin.

"Woah, wait, wait, wait." He called, grabbing her hand, not wanting to let the opportunity pass.

He looked at her speculatively and raised her eyebrows in question. Sungjin blushed and dropped her hand quickly.

"Why don't I walk you home?" He stuttered, rubbing his neck. "I mean, I don't want you to get hurt or anything... I mean, it's a dangerous neighbourhood."

Haru looked at him in amusement, but agreed, humouring him. "Sure Sungjin, that's sweet of you."

Sungjin smiled at the compliment and began walking her out of the school, completely forgetting about his promise to meet Wonpil.

~~

Although Jae had told Haru he went home with a friend, what he didn't tell her was that the particular friend was Brian. The two had been getting closer the past few days, and today Jae wanted to show him the new game he got.

It's not that Jae wanted to lie to Haru, but whenever he brought her up around Brian, he became silent and reserved again. It was clear that he didn't particularly like her.

Jae had even ventured to ask him what he thought about her once and he only got a grunt and scowl in response before Brian answered with a simple, "She's nice, I guess."

After that he had never brought her up again, not wanting to make Brian recede into his indifferent shell again. Jae didn't know what Brian had against her, but he also didn't want to find out since they were both his friends.

As far as he knew, Brian and Haru never had anything against each other, nor knew each other, before Jae and him became friends. Brian even stopped those girls from bullying Haru when Jae couldn't (which he still felt guilty about). Brian had acted as if the whole situation had never occurred, and Jae didn't want to bring it up again.

They were currently lounging in Jae's bedroom, playing the new Mortal Combat game he had bought yesterday. Jae wasn't lying when he said his room was probably ten times messier than Brian's.

Jae had kicked a small portion of the mess away and smiled at Brian apologetically. They were still both crammed in front of the small television and gaming set Jae had in front of his bed, their knees knocking together whenever they were particularly invested in the game. Jae's attention was focused solely on the screen, moving his thumbs quickly over the controller, and even sticking his tongue out in concentration.

Brian was acutely aware of everywhere he was touching the other, feeling heat seeping through his jeans when their thighs brushed. He quickly glanced to the side and saw Jae in deep concentration.

His round glasses were slipping down his nose, and his pink bangs were falling over his eyes. Brian felt momentarily distracted by the way Jae poked his tongue out of his mouth, unconsciously wetting his lips.

"Hah! Take that!" Jae yelled in victory, pumping his fists into the air.

The screen showed that Jae had won, taking advantage of Brian's momentary distraction to kill off his character brutally. Brian was flustered and snapped out of it when Jae turned towards him, noticing he was already staring at him.

"Hyung? You okay?" The younger questioned.

Brian nodded, perhaps a little to eagerly.

Jae looked skeptical but replied, "Okay..."

Brian looked around the room, desperate for a distraction. He spotted a battered up guitar hanging on one of the walls, and his eyes lit up.

"You play?" He asked, looking at the guitar and then back to Jae.

"Oh! Well, yeah, a little." Jae said, bashfully. "Haven't in years though. I used to love song writing and singing."

"Seriously? Me too!" Brian exclaimed, lowering his voice after realizing he was a little too loud.

He blushed, excited to find out his friend also loved music.

"I've actually been working on this song for months now but I just can't get it to sound right."

"Really? Maybe I could help you with it sometime?" Jae asked shyly, nervous as if would Brian say no.

Brian gave him one of his dazzling smiles that left Jae just a little bit blinded and nodded eagerly. Jae laughed at his enthusiasm and stared a little longer at his smile. Brian grinned at Jae before staring back into his eyes.

They stayed like that for a moment, both boys unwilling to break the eye contact. Suddenly, they heard Jae's mom calling them from downstairs. That broke the moment and they both looked away, Brian's heart racing just a little bit faster than normal.

~~

 

Wonpil had headed straight to the front doors after the last bell rang for the day.

He usually met Sungjin outside the front doors, and then they would proceed to walk home together. They only lived a few houses down from each other so it was convenient to make the distance there together.

Wonpil smiled as he stood in front of the doors, anticipating getting to spend time with Sungjin. He grinned to himself and held onto his backpack strap tighter, trying to look around inside to spot Sungjin.

His stomach fluttered and his cheeks heated as he recalled Sungjin's cute smile as he asked him to go for ice cream. Sungjin's smile always made his stomach do weird things, and whenever Sungjin payed special attention to himself, he felt his heart race.

Wonpil thought he would be content if it was just him and Sungjin for the rest of his life. These feelings had been present for years now, and he had always brushed it off as just his fondness towards his best friend. Wonpil had a small smile on his face even now while he thought about Sungjin now.

He would do anything to make Sungjin smile. For years he had let him borrow his bike, help him with homework, invited him to family dinners. He always felt happier with Sungjin around. Wonpil always felt satisfied knowing that he was his best friend; the one Sungjin would go to for anything. He loved putting a smile on his face, and being the reason he smiled.

Thinking hard about his feelings, Wonpil suddenly had a life altering moment. He realized why his breath hitched while Sungjin came close to him and why he couldn't stop staring at him whenever they were together. It was suddenly very obvious.

His breathing almost stopped when he realized that he was in love with Sungjin. He was in love with his best friend. He had probably been in love with him for years. His heart raced just at the thought. This feeling was the reason Wonpil was so pliant towards Sungjin. He was soft towards him in a way he wasn't usually with anybody else. He always thought it was because Sungjin was his best friend so of course he was more indulgent and affectionate towards him.

How could he not have seen it? Thinking about his past behaviour, it seemed obvious now. His breathing picked up, nervous about meeting Sungjin now that he realized he was in love with him. What if he noticed? Wonpil stressed and internally panicked before pacing in front of the door.

He was anxious for no reason however, because Sungjin had still not shown up. After a few minutes, he began thinking Sungjin might just be held up in class.

Fifteen minutes after school had ended; there was still no sight of Sungjin. Not minding waiting a little bit if his friend was late, Wonpil took a seat on the bench. But then twenty minutes past, and then so did twenty five, and at thirty minutes Wonpil was starting to get frustrated, wondering where Sungjin was.

Almost all the students had left the school by now, and he was one of the last ones there again. His racing heart had now calmed into a slow irritation, wondering why his friend hadn't called him or anything. He resolved to wait for him a little longer, keeping hope on the fact that Sungjin said they would hang out together.

Wonpil opened his phone and saw that he had no notifications or text messages from Sungjin, and his heart dropped.

He sighed, standing up again. He stood in front of the doors until it slowly began to rain. The clouds above him darkened and clouded together until rain drops began dropping quickly from the sky. Wonpil didn't even bring an umbrella since he believed Sungjin would have one with him. He always had one with him.

A full hour after the final bell had rang, showed Wonpil as the only student left in the school. Wonpil didn't know how to feel, knowing now, that Sungjin was never going to show up. He was never going to come in the first place, and left Wonpil waiting for him like a fool.

The rain came on harder, Wonpil uncaring as the drops hit him like small bullets. His heart hurt knowing Sungjin had blown him off, or because he actually fooled him into thinking he wanted to hang out with him. He didn't know why Sungjin would be so cruel as to lie to him, ignoring him for the nth time. He now realized the way Sungjin looked at Haru was the same way Wonpil looked at him. He hurt with the fact that Sungjin was never going to look at him in the same way. They were just never going to have their happy ending.

He smiled bitterly, noting that his realization of love came at the worst time. His smile slowly slid off his face as the pain in his heart increased. It thumped numbly and too largely in his chest. Wonpil barely felt the rain soaking into his clothes as the hurt began taking up his entire mind, claiming all his attention. He had realized he loved Sungjin only to have him stomp on his heart.

"Stupid, stupid." Wonpil muttered brokenly, the sound of rain hitting the pavement drowning out his voice.

Suddenly the sound of rain around him dimmed and the drops pelting his face stopped. He noticed someone standing beside him, holding an umbrella over his head, protecting him from the rain.

Wonpil didn't glance to the side but knew it was Dowoon. The boy stood silently, dutifully holding the umbrella above Wonpil's head, getting himself thoroughly wet in the process. The boy didn't say anything as he stood by Wonpil's side.

Wonpil didn't realize he was crying until he was no longer getting hit by the rain, but still felt wetness on his cheeks.

The tears flowed silently down his face, as Wonpil's heart broke to pieces under the umbrella.

 

~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ps. so sorry about the spelling and grammar mistakes in my last chapters BAHAAHA i barely edit these things so yeah bye.


	6. Heartache is horrible, I would know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helloooo my lovely readers!! (▰˘◡˘▰)  
> SO sorry for the semi-long break! Honestly I had a couple chapters written before but never posted bc i wanted to get the others done before that. I don't know how the story got so long! It was supposed to be maybe 10k at the most LOL.  
> Warning: SO MUCH ANGST AHEAD in the later chapters!!  
> It's self-indulgent mwahaha, honestly I was gonna give some of them a happy ending quickly, but couldn't help but imagine how the story would play along if i prolonged the angst soooooooooo  
> Enjoy my babes (^з^)-☆

The loud bass reverberated in Brian's chest as he made his way through the crowd of people in the living room. 

He held his drink close to his chest, trying not to spill any of the liquid inside his cup. When Jae said he knew a lot of people, he  _really_  knew a lot of people. Half the people here Brian recognized from school and the other half he had never seen before in his life.

He pushed through the crowd, trying to spot somebody's strawberry blonde hair. He had contemplated not coming tonight, not a big fan of house parties, never really getting invited to them anyways. 

However, he had not seen much of Jae the whole day. The latter was too busy helping Haru prepare for this party that Brian had barely seen him for more than two seconds. 

Usually, Jae would walk Brian home before either inviting the boy into his house, or inviting himself into Brian's. They would talk and play video games for most of the day, just enjoying each other's company. Jae's absence made Brian realize how much the other had already made a spot for himself in his life, Brian already depending on his company.

Brian shook his head, making up his mind to leave. He was determined to survive a day without Jae's presence to remind himself that he still could. He had been there for half an hour already and had barely seen the other male. 

Brian had once spotted him by the kitchen, laughing with people he didn't know, and seeing that made his stomach churn uncomfortably. 

Of course Jae had other friends. Brian wasn't the only person he laughed or talked with. The boy was a social butterfly. Brian was uncomfortable, did not have a good time and was starting to  regret even coming in the first place. By the time he had looked back to where Jae was standing the boy had disappeared.

He took a couple steps towards the door before bumping into Haru.

"Woah, sorry! Oh, Brian." She said, clearly flustered.

She looked up at him, face flushed.

"It's fine." He said, before moving away from her and towards the door.

"Wait! Are you leaving?" She cried, reaching out to grab his arm.

"Yeah." He shrugged off her hand, nodding noncommittally.

"The parties only started though, you should stay a bit longer." She reasoned.

Brian looked at her suspiciously.

"I mean." She flushed, "You've only been here for half an hour, don't go home so soon."

He raised his eyebrows but said nothing and continued walking towards the front door. Haru was disheartened tried not to let it show as she watched him walk towards the door.

All of a sudden, Jae came running from down the stairs, almost hurtling his way into Brian.

"Hyung!" He called, happily. "You came!"

Jae grinned big and bright at Brian, swinging his arm over his shoulder. The spectators around watched with slight surprise at Jae interacting friendly with the schools bad boy. Most were still shocked at the warm response Jae got every time he spoke to Brian. Any time anyone else attempted to speak to Brian he shut them off and only replied to in a cold and uninterested voice.

Brian tried to suppress the growing smile on his face, but failed when Jae grinned at him so wide and threw his arm over his shoulder. Brian noticed the younger did that a lot and maybe Brian liked it a bit more than he should. He could smell the alcohol on the younger's breath, and it made him a bit intoxicated inhaling it as Jae's mouth was so close to his own.

"Man, I'm so glad you're here, I've been looking for you all night!" Jae laughed.

Brian wore an answering grin, replying, "Really?"

"Yeah man! Couldn't find you anywhere. Come here, I wanna show you something cool." He proceeded to drag Brian out of the room and into Haru's backyard, the other boy following dutifully.

Most of the party had grown uninterested with the duo, yet one person still stared at the pair. 

Haru had not wanted Brian to leave so quickly, not even getting a chance to talk to him the entire time he was there. Truthfully she didn't really think Brian was going to show up, but held out hope because Jae reassured her that Brian would come. 

She saw the two were getting close, but Jae made friends with everyone. She knew firsthand how easily he made himself a place in her life, becoming her best friend the minute he decided to borrow her crayons back in elementary school. 

His easy going and comical personality made it easy for him to make friends but he stuck with her throughout their childhood and into high school, never leaving her side for anyone else. She was intensely grateful towards Jae and loved him as her best friend.

He had told her Brian was excited for the party and she had trusted him. He convinced her that he would be there and that she should try to talk to him. She had not confessed her feelings to him yet, but the memory of his hand in hers at the fair, and his body blocking any harm from coming to her by those bullies made butterflies swirl in her chest. She resolved in following Jae and Brian out to the backyard, intent on speaking with Brian alone.

Before she could make it to the screen door that led to the backyard, a hand reached out to grab her arm.

"Haru!" A voice called, pulling her slightly back.

She turned, surprised and saw Sungjin standing with her arm in his hand.

"Sungjin!"

"Happy birthday!" He grinned, releasing her arm.

She smiled, "Thank you! I'm glad you came!"

"Wouldn't miss it for the world." He said back, looking at her admiringly.

She grinned back at him, but fidgeted anxiously, glancing back towards the backyard. She could see Jae and Brian standing by the screen door, underneath the fairy lights she had set up with Jae when they were younger. She was glad Sungjin was there but was more anxious to get back to the boys outside and talk to one of them alone.

"Well, I hope you enjoy the party." Haru said, inching her way towards the screen door.

"Wait, Haru. Can I talk to you for a moment? Maybe somewhere private?" Sungjin said, looking into her eyes, something akin to nervousness seeping into his voice.

Haru furrowed her brows, wondering what Sungjin wanted to talk to her about that had him so nervous.

"Sure. Wanna go upstairs to my room?" Haru replied, still looking back at the backyard, but deciding that it could wait until she heard what Sungjin had to say.

Sungjin breathed a sigh in relief, nodding at her suggestion. He followed her up the stairs, nervously stuffing his hands in his pockets.

He had been building up the courage to confess to her for a few days, figuring that this would be his best chance. They had been growing closer the past week, starting from when he walked her home on Monday. 

He had continued to walk her home every day, Jae too busy and unable to accompany her like he usually did. Sungjin rejoiced internally at the chance to spend more time with her, completely forgetting about anything or  _anyone_ else whenever they were together.

They discussed a manner of things on their walks together, getting to know each other even more. Haru glowed when she spoke passionately about something she liked, and always listened attentively when Sungjin spoke. Whenever she looked him in the eye or pushed her hair behind her ear, Sungjin's breathing would stutter and he would forget what he was saying. He knew that his long time crush for her was now bordering on full-fledged feelings, and he knew he had to tell her before they spilled out of his chest.

Haru came to a stop at the foot of her bed, turning to face Sungjin as she stopped in the middle of her room.

"What did you want to talk about?" Haru asked, giving Sungjin a warm smile.

Inside, she really wanted to get back to the party and intended to speed up the conversation a bit. It wasn't that she didn't care or want to hear what Sungjin had to say, but she really wanted to be speaking to someone else right now.

"Oh... W-Well... You see..." Sungjin began, nervously, suddenly losing the courage that brought him there.

Haru's eyes grew concerned as she looked at the stuttering boy in front of her.

"Sungjin? Are you okay? You can tell me what's wrong." She moved closer to him, reaching out to touch his arm, comfortingly.

Sungjin's breathing stuttered even more and he felt warmth from Haru's gaze mirrored by the hand on his arm. He suddenly turned to look at her, staring straight into her eyes. She looked taken aback for a moment before smiling reassuringly at Sungjin.

Staring into her eyes, Sungjin just blurted, "Haru, I think I love you."

~~

"I'm not lying on the grass."

"Aw, come on! Why not?" Jae pouted, already planting himself on the ground and lying down on his back.

"It rained last night! The grass is still a little wet."

"So? Come here Brian."

Jae was slightly a bit tipsy from the drinks and dancing he had done earlier, making him whine and pout towards his friend. Brian tried to resist but Jae's over-excited grin already made him a bit weak to his pleas, and a tipsy Jae was just too cute to ignore. Jae dragged him down beside him and pulled him so they were lying side by side.

Haru's backyard had a little roofing ledge that had small string lights hanging in between the wood structures. When Jae and Haru were younger, Jae always wanted to play in their backyard. When they were twelve years old and having their first ever sleepover, Jae claimed he wanted to sleep under the stars.

_"There's too much pollution Jae. We can't see anything up there."_

_Jae's face fell before brightening up again._

_"Just wait."_

_He ran inside her house before coming back out with his arms full of string lights._

_"If we can't see the stars, we'll just make our own." He told her with his trademark grin._

That day they spent the entire night hanging up the string lights before talking for hours and falling asleep underneath the artificial stars. The next day Haru's parents found them past out under the canopy of lights, both damp from the morning dew collecting on their clothes.

"They're stars hyung. As pretty as any stars we could see here." Jae said, a wistful tone to his voice.

Brian hummed, silently agreeing that the lights really did look beautiful against the dark night sky. He was relaxed from the drink he had earlier and if he just squinted, he could pretend they were stars. If he just squinted a bit more, he could pretend he and Jae were the only two people still alive, alone in their own little world under the stars. 

Brian could still hear the music playing loudly from inside and people's yells as they danced, but under this little canopy of lights, he could pretend it was just him and Jae.

Jae had his eyes closed, arms stretched out, one arm still thrown over Brian's shoulder from when he dragged him on the ground. Their shirts really were getting a little wet from the previous night's rain but Brian found he didn't care all that much.

The alcohol made Brian looser and he let himself just look at Jae and appreciate the other boy for a while. He could forgive himself this one time. The little lights reflected off Jae's round glasses, highlighting his entire face, making him look glowing under the lights. A slight smile stretched over his lips, as if he was perfectly content with staying like that forever. Brian had to agree. He wouldn't mind staying here either, just staring at Jae forever.

Suddenly Jae turned his head to meet Brian's gaze.

"Why hadn't I befriended you earlier hyung? You know you're not all people say you are. You're a big softie. I know it." Jae grinned -he was always doing that.

Brian's throat was dry as he swallowed. Jae's face was too close to his when he turned his head like that.

"Yeah." Brian replied, distracted.

Jae hummed and turned his head back and closed his eyes once again.

"I really like you hyung. I hope we can be friends for a long time." Jae smiled, before drifting off to a light sleep.

Brian's heart thundered in his chest, watching as the boy's chest lifted and fell as he slept.

"Yeah, me too Jae. Me too."

~~

Dowoon knocked softly on the closed bedroom door.

There was no replying voice from the inside, but he figured it would be safe to go in. In the few weeks that Dowoon had been staying (–not living, dammit, he was going to leave, he swears!) at Wonpil’s house, the other had never denied him entry into his room.

Over the course of time Dowoon had slowly began to warm up to the other boy. It was impossible not to like Wonpil's silly and innocent, but lovable manner. He approached and conversed with Dowoon even when he tried to escape to his own room. Dowoon was unused to this type of treatment but slowly got use to it and even began to enjoy having Wonpil actively seek him out, even if it was just to tell him something stupid that happened throughout the day.

Wonpil loved having someone to talk to at all hours of the day, especially ever since Sungjin had been spending less and less time with him. Dowoon never said a word, even when Wonpil would ramble for hours without stopping. Wonpil appreciated that Dowoon never looked uninterested and was always listening attentively and nodding along even if he did not reply.

Wonpil had also begun recently tutoring Dowoon in almost all his subjects, the boys grades being less than exemplary. Dowoon had tried to tell Wonpil he did not need his help –especially after all the boy had already done for him, but Wonpil would not take no for an answer.

Dowoon could never admit it but Wonpil was actually incredibly smart and an amazing teacher, helping Dowoon absorb the information more quickly than any of his teachers could. Dowoon was actually very intelligent himself, if he  bothered to show up and stay away for any of his classes. Dowoon’s grades had increased and shot up so dramatically in the course of a few weeks that his teachers all suspected him of cheating.

Dowoon would also never admit this, but he was secretly very proud of himself, and his future did not look so grey with his grades looking up like this. He wondered if his mom would be proud of him now, and privately hoped she would.

Wonpil never tried to talk about sensitive topics like why Dowoon had run away from home, and likewise, Dowoon never brought up Sungjin or looked at Wonpil weird when he unknowingly began to talk about the other boy before trailing off awkwardly. Wonpil did not know where he stood with Sungjin and speaking about him made him uncomfortable and awkward. Dowoon felt an unexplainable surge of anger whenever he thought about the other boy.

Dowoon had not seen Wonpil and Sungjin together since before Wonpil found him on the rooftop. It seemed as if the two had slowly drifted apart and Dowoon did not want to even try to credit the entire process on himself. Wonpil was spending more time with him, helping him get settled but Dowoon was a fool if he believed Wonpil could not make time for his best friend.

However, Sungjin did not attempt to talk to the other boy at school, leaving him to sit alone at their tables, always conversing with Haru elsewhere. It always made Dowoon irrationally angry, because weren’t they supposed to be best friends? His heart hurt looking at Wonpil’s crestfallen expression whenever Sungjin would ignore him in favor of Haru. Dowoon made it his mission to get that expression off his face.

(Even if it meant sitting in Sungjin’s seat at the front of the class, when Dowoon usually sat in the very back corner. Although his ears burned and he could not meet Wonpil’s eyes, the dejected look was always gone from his face so Dowoon counted it as a win.)

Dowoon had been staying after school for a discussion with his teachers about what he would like to pursue after high school when he saw the other boy standing at the front doors by himself. It was a tough conversation (especially when he wouldn’t speak and only responded with half shrugs and nods of his head) that ran longer than expected and he was especially surprised to find someone still at the school, so late after the last bell had rang. He was even more surprised to find out it was Wonpil.

When he took a look closer, he finally realized the other boy was silently crying, eyes heavy and pouring like the rain pounding on his clothes.

Wonpil had been getting soaked and Dowoon was concerned about whether the boy would catch a cold. Dowoon could not leave him like that. He slowly approached Wonpil, who barely noticed, too occupied in his sorrow. He opened the umbrella in his hand and held it over the boy. His heart broke just a little, staring at the boy breaking in front of him.

He was unaware how long they stood there before Wonpil turned and buried his head into Dowoon’s chest. The rain water and tears both soaked into Dowoon’s shirt but he was uncaring as he let Wonpil bawl into his shirt. The boy stood crying for a long while before looking up to sniffle at Dowoon.

“Let’s go home.” He had said, and Dowoon had gladly taken him home.

Dowoon had not pried about the issue. Wonpil would tell him when he was ready or maybe he wouldn’t, but that didn’t mean Dowoon wasn’t concerned or worried about Wonpil.

Dowoon was hurting for the boy who had looked despondent ever since they had come home. He didn’t know what to do. He was barely good at controlling his own heart-ache and didn’t know how to help someone else’s. But he wanted to try, for Wonpil. Wonpil deserved to be happy.

Dowoon pushed open the door to Wonpil’s room and saw the boy sitting beneath his covers, staring at his phone.

“Hey.” Wonpil smiled weakly at Dowoon.

Dowoon moved to sit beside him on the bed, looking into his eyes.

This was one of the many times he wished he wasn’t a coward, and had the right words to say to comfort Wonpil in any way he could.

_Why are you hurting?_

_How can I help?_

But he couldn’t say anything, so he settled for reaching for Wonpil’s hand. This was the first time Dowoon had initiated contact and Wonpil stared at him in surprise.

After a while his eyes softened and he breathed out softly, “Dowoon.”

The other boy looked up at the call of his name and question Wonpil with his eyes.

“I love someone.” Eyes looking pained, his hand unconsciously squeezing Dowoon’s tighter.

Dowoon’s heart raced and dropped at the exact same time.

“They don’t love me back.” He whispered.

Wonpil’s eyes filled with tears again and Dowoon pulled the boy into his chest, letting him cry there for the second time that day. Wonpil sobbed and Dowoon wondered whether they would just be in a constant cycle of trying to comfort each other.

“He said something came up. That he had to walk Haru home.” Wonpil said in between breaths.

Dowoon could already infer from those short sentences that Sungjin had ditched him once again for Haru. Of course he loved Sungjin. The two had been best friends for a long time; of course it was natural for Wonpil to develop feelings for Sungjin.

Dowoon rubbed the others back, trying to comfort him in any way he could. Heart ache was horrible and he would know.

~~ 


	7. I tell my heart not to break but it always does anyways

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I warned, there is SO MUCH ANGST IN THIS CHAPTER  
> read w caution hahhahh

"Brian!" A voice called from down the hall, startling Brian out of his reverie.

The voice was a soft female one, not the one Brian wanted to hear. He quickened his footsteps, not wanting to converse with anyone this early in the morning.

"Brian! Please, wait up!" The voice called again, a little more desperate this time.

Brian stopped in his steps, and turned around to face the voice.

"What do you want?" He grumbled, roughly, glaring down at Haru's pretty face.

He wide eyes blinked slowly before remembering why she was calling him.

"Oh! Could I maybe speak to you after school today?" She asked nervously.

"Why?" He questioned. He only put up with Haru because she was Jae's best friend, and if he was hoenst he had nothing against the girl.

He did think she was pretty and her hair was shiny and maybe she would be his ideal type if he even had one. But she was also best friends with Jae and if Brian was being honest with himself  _again_ , he was just jealous of her. Jealous that she knew Jae longer than he had, that they were best friends, that sometimes people around the school gossiped that they were a couple.

She looked up at him again and blushed before stating confidently, "I have something to tell you, in private."

Brian was suspicious but nodded anyway, intrigued.

"I'll be in the art classroom, just find me." He said before walking away.

Haru grinned broadly before walking away, full of nervous anticipation.

~~

"Make it quick, I have places to be." Brian said, leaning against the sink in the art room.

Those  _places_ were actually just at home, in bed, by himself. But she didn't have to know that.

Haru's breath hitched at how striking Brian looked without even trying, casually leaning against the sink with his hair falling in front of his eyes.

Her heart raced at the thought about what she was about to do, trying to gather the courage to confess.

She had been thinking long and hard about her feelings when she realized she liked Brian. She liked the way his hair moved when he was playing basketball. How his smile changed his entire face and became light and pleasant. How he defended her from those girls who didn't know what they were talking about. Brian seemed scary and unapproachable but she had seen the way he lit up whenever Jae was near and she wanted to be the reason he smiled like that every day.

Realizing her feelings made her eager to confess, deciding she would do it the next time she saw him, her opportunity at her party wasted when she couldn't find him after he disappeared with Jae.

"Hello?" He asked her again, moving to stand in front of her. "Are you going to tell me anything? Or can I just go?"

Haru steeled herself, quickly saying, "I like you."

Brian froze like a statue.

" _You_  like  _me_?" He echoed, disbelieving.

She nodded, nervously shifting but standing her ground.

He stared at her again before laughing incredulously. Never would he have though Haru would confess to him, but he looked again and she was still blushing.

"What is this? Who dared you to do this?" He asked again.

Haru was confused as to why Brian was laughing, did he not believe her?

"No one. I like you." She repeated.

Brian scoffed. "Oh you do, do you? And what exactly about me is it that you like?" he questioned sarcastically.

"Is it that I'm the school's resident bad boy? Is that it? Do you like that I scare people away –or let me guess; you're going to say that you can make me a better person and you don't believe all those stupid rumours about me. You're going to  _change me_. Well guess what, I don't need any of that, thanks."

Brian let the words spew from his mouth, uncaring. She didn't really care about him. No one did. Everyone left, no one stayed. Why should he think she's any different, that she actually likes him?

Haru's eyes filled with tears and slight anger. How dare he accuse her of all that.

Where was the boy who laughed until he couldn't breathe when Jae tripped and fell in the hallways to class? Where was the boy she saw smiling huge and wide when they won the school basketball tournament? Where was the boy who gripped her hand tightly because he was afraid of heights, pretending he wasn't scared? How come that boy only came out sometimes and yet this cold one always greeted her when she tried to talk to him. She was in love with a version of him that he never showed to her.

"Must you act like a jerk all the time." Haru whispered. "You could have just told me you don't like me back."

He laughed mockingly. "Yeah, okay. I don't like you back. Sorry, but what did you expect? A grand confession in return about how I have been in love with you this entire time? You don't care about me. No one does." He finished bitterly.

Haru balled her fists, her confession being made into a joke.

There was a pain in her heart from being rejected, but really what  _had_  she expected. It was certainly not this, nor what Brian described. She thought he would at least take her seriously and turn her down gently. Not what he was doing now. She knew this wasn't who he was. It made her feelings conflicted.

But right now, she was upset and wanted to get out of his mocking voice, so she grabbed her bag and hurried out of the room.

She dialed Jae's number as she left the school, wiping her face as he picked up instantly.

"Ayooo wassup!"

"Jae," she sniffed. "Can I come over?"

Jae immediately sobered hearing her voice, "Yeah, of course." He replied softly.

~~

Wonpil was walking home from school when he heard a voice calling his name over his shoulder.

He hadn't seen Sungjin all day, Wonpil making an effort to avoid the other boy at all costs, although it hurt even trying to stay away from his best friend. But the pain hurt more being reminded that Sungjin did not feel the same way about him, so he forced himself to stop seeking him out. Several times throughout the day, Sungjin made eye contact with him and looked like he wanted to talk to him, but Wonpil avoided him like the plague. Just seeing the other boy already made his chest ache.

"Wonpil!" Sungjin shouted as he ran to catch up with the boy who was walking with his head down.

Wonpil quickened his pace, clutching the books in his arms tightly, as he ignored the tightening in his chest as well.

"Wonpil!" The other boy said as he caught Wonpil's shoulder, turning him around.

"Sungjin." Wonpil breathed, already feeling his emotions going awry in the presence of the other boy.

"Hey! Where have you been the entire day? I have something really important I want to tell you and I've tried talking to you all day but you seemed like you were avoiding me."

Wonpil could feel his resolve begin to crumble under Sungjin's big eyes that were staring at him, slightly upset.

"I'm sorry. I'm very busy right now."

"Too busy to listen to me for ten minutes?" Sungjin asked, sounding hurt.

That was when Wonpil really looked at him that he saw the dark circles under his eyes and the puffiness that could only be from crying. Wonpil momentarily forgot himself and gave in to Sungjin's requests, his resolve weakening at seeing Sungjin look so worn out.

"On Friday, Haru threw a birthday party." Sungjin began, and Wonpil realized how bad of an idea this was as his heart had already begun to ache at the mention of the girl Sungjin loved. He didn't like where this was going and he wondered how he was going to listen through this and act like he didn't care when his entire body was revolting at the thought of Sungjin with someone else.

"And I thought it was a good time to confess... Wonpil..." he said, sounding so heartbroken, Wonpil's chest ached. "She said she never saw me that way. I was only her friend. She loves someone else. She's been avoiding me all day. Wonpil... It hurts so much."

Wonpil stopped and looked at Sungjin blankly, his face contorted into slight pain and the ball in Wonpil's chest inflated.

After weeks of ignoring Wonpil and pushing him aside to talk to Haru, the minute he gets rejected he comes running back to Wonpil. After weeks of Wonpil waiting and waiting for Sungjin to return to him, to be his friend, to acknowledge him, he only does so to tell Wonpil about Haru. After Wonpil stood in the rain for an hour, thinking Sungjin would remember to at least  _text_  him he couldn't make it, he left heartbroken and disappointed.

The ball in Wonpil's chest inflated until there was no more room pushing against his throbbing heart and it exploded.

"It hurts? It hurts?" Wonpil asked almost hysterical, pushing his way into Sungjin's space, startling the other boy into taking a few steps back.

"It hurts that the girl you've been pining after for weeks, maybe years, said she does not have feelings for you? It's time to grow up Sungjin! People get hurt, they don't love you back, it's just the way the world works!" Wonpil said, raising his voice with each line.

Sungjin widened his eyes, staring at Wonpil in shock. "Wonpil, why are you saying this? You're my friend, you should know how much it hurts."

Wonpil eyes watered with anger. "Yes, hyung. I know very well how much it  _hurts,_ considering I've been in love with you for 4 years!" he yelled.

"I've had to listen to you talk about Haru, how perfect she is. Watch you pine after her, all while you ignore me for her, leave me waiting to walk home with you, even though you already left to walk with her. Never calling me, never even trying to reach out to me, never seeing  _me_." Wonpil took a deep breath, so he wouldn't sob all over again in front of Sungjin.

"So yes, hyung, I know how much it  _hurts_." He gritted.

Sungjin looked dumfounded, staring at Wonpil with his mouth slightly parted. "Wonpil, you what?" he asked, sounding strangled.

Wonpil's anger deflated just as fast as it came, feeling resigned more than anything. He knew his feelings towards Sungjin were hopeless; a wishful dream, like a child waiting up on Christmas for Santa even when he knows he's not real. Still wishing and hoping something can prove him wrong.

"I know, you've never going to see me like that. There's no need to tell me." Wonpil muttered. "I just wish you would have treated me like a friend, if nothing else." With that, he turned and walked away, wishing Sungjin would rush over and contradict what he was saying.

Wonpil hoped that he would pull him back and chase after him, if only because he didn't want to lose their friendship. That Sungjin would grab his arm and whisper that he was wrong. But he just let Wonpil walk away, staring dumbly at his retreating back.

 _This is better. Now I can move on._ Wonpil whispered to his heart, willing himself to believe it. His heart, however, didn't listen and continued to break with each step he took.

~~

Furious pounding sounded on the door, loud enough for the entire huge house to hear.

Brian pulled one earphone out of his ear, Metallica still piercing through the little speakers. He was confused as to who was pounding on his front door at this late hour of the evening. No one ever visited the Kang household, even his parents scarcely visiting once a year. He pushed himself up, the knocking getting louder and more insistent.

"I'm coming, I'm coming, quit it with the knocking!" Brian yelled, pulling open the door.

As he swung open the door, hee was met with the furious face of Jae. That was his only image before getting punched in the face.

"What the hell!" Brian yelled, staring wildly up at Jae, years of fights making him supress the urge to swing a defensive punch back at Jae.

"Yeah, what the hell?" Jae chorused, letting himself in to Brian's house.

Brian clutched his newly bruised eye while glancing up at Jae, who was livid. Brian had never seen him this mad. Jae was generally an easy-going guy, laid back and always ready to crack a joke. It was hard to get him this worked up so Brian wondered why he was furious.

"What the hell, hyung? Haru confesses to you, my  _best_  friend, and you outright reject her. Not to mention were a complete jerk about it, you couldn't even let her down easy? What the  _hell_ , hyung!" Jae's face was flushed red from exertion, and Brian could barely distract himself from the way the red clung to his cheeks.

When he processed what the other boy was saying however, he was irrationally angry. 

"Why should I care about her feelings? Who is she to me?"  _Why should I care when it's not you?_ Brian stood, facing Jae head on, furious eyebrows in place.

Jae's face contorted, settling on disappointed and angry. He stalked up to Brian pushing his chest with his finger, backing them up until they hit the wall.

"I can't believe you, hyung. I thought you were different from what people said; I thought they were wrong about you. But you're just the same, you don't care about anyone else but yourself." Jae said, blinking through his round specs, eyes blazing.

Brian felt the hole in his chest puncture and deepen, choosing to ignore it in favour of glaring back at Jae. How could he make accusations like that without even hearing what Brian had to say? He always though Jae never believed what other people said or thought about him. Ever since the start, Jae treated him normally, like he genuinely wanted to be his friend. He guessed it was all a lie. Just as he thought, no one ever stayed; what a fool he was to believe Jae actually cared, that he finally found someone who actually wanted him. 

Brian's eyes hardened. "You don't know a thing about me." He muttered, feeling a tipping point.

Jae's eyes dimmed and he stepped back. "I guess I never did." He said, turning to quickly leave the house, the door still open behind him.

Brian slid down the wall, feeling the hole in his chest widening, incapable of ignoring now. The house felt even lonelier than it ever had in his entire life.

~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh okay sorry for making Brian seem like a jerk here, I swear he's acc just really a softie with big emotional problems!! dont hate him pls :(  
> Hope ya'll enjoyed all the angst, there was so much confrontation and literally no one is happy rn, RIPPPP  
> but the chapters will start getting longer now yay!  
> Edit: Aha i read this over and realized how many spelling mistakes I had so yeahh, don't come after me!!


	8. I can't bear to hear you say you love someone else

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yayyyyy another update!!  
> get prepared for a rollerr coasterrrrr!!! ;DDD

Dowoon lies with his head in Wonpil's lap, the mindless music show playing on the television only background static to Dowoon.

His eyes flick over and land on Wonpil, who is busy staring off into space. He doesn't know how he didn't notice before, but Wonpil was truly beautiful. His long lashes framed his doe-like eyes and the little crinkles that swelled when he smiled, big and gummy, made Dowoon's breathing stop and his heart race for no reason.

Not that he had never noticed before, but he never gave much thought to it. Months earlier he never would have believed he would be close enough to Wonpil for him to even notice him. Dowoon was the weird mute kid, and Wonpil always had Sungjin. However, Dowoon hadn't seen them together for quite a while now. Dowoon reprimanded himself for being even slightly glad they no longer seemed to talk to each other.

Seeing how Wonpil broke down the other day because of Sungjin made his heart hurt and become irrationally angry. He never wanted to see Wonpil that broken ever again.

Dowoon's mind began to drift to what would happen in the future. With each day, his resolve to leave Wonpil's care began weakening. He had made himself too comfortable here. Wonpil's parents were so kind to him, his heart ached when it reminded him of his mom. He knew he was overstaying his welcome, but he couldn't bring himself to leave.

Not when Wonpil was only a few feet away every day, and the house with his father in it (it was no longer his home) almost made him slip into an anxiety attack just thinking about it. There was a stash of money he had been saving since his mom's death, hidden back at his old house, but he knew he couldn't go back there to retrieve it. Not while his dad was still living there.

But he could not keep leeching off Wonpil's kindness, and the longer he spent around the boy, the more his emotions went into haywire. He had a suspicion about why he was feeling this way towards Wonpil, but he didn't want to scare the boy away with his feelings, especially when he knew Wonpil loved Sungjin.

It was painfully obvious from the way he put Sungjin before himself and his pained face when Sungjin would talk about Haru.

He was suddenly ripped out of his thoughts when Wonpil looked down, directly into Dowoon's eyes, who had not looked away from Wonpil the entire time he was thinking. Dowoon's face heated at being caught staring but Wonpil just smiled lightly at him.

"What are you thinking so hard about?" Wonpil questioned.

Dowoon shrugged, embarrassed. He tried to sit up, but Wonpil pulled him back down into his lap.

"Stay like this for a while." Wonpil sighed, tiredly.

Dowoon sank back down, staring at Wonpil in concern. Lately Wonpil had been looking more resigned and sad. He had not talked to Dowoon about it but he knew something happened, and it probably had to do with Sungjin, if Wonpil was this upset about it.

Dowoon tapped Wonpil's shoulder, trying to convey his concern through his eyes.

Wonpil smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. "I'm fine, Dowoon-ah. Just tired."

Dowoon nodded, but didn't look convinced. He wondered when Wonpil would stop hurting, and why he really wanted to be the reason he did.

~~

The next morning, Jae was lounging in his unofficial, official seat in study period when he saw Brian come in to the classroom.

He furrowed his brows, unconsciously. Brian barely ever bothered to show up to any class these days, much less study period, not that Jae noticed or anything (he was keeping watch).

Jae's eye briefly caught his, and his breath hitched at Brian's intense stare, before Brian scowled harder and averted his eyes. Jae felt his heart sink, it looked like Brian really didn't want anything to do with him anymore. Jae tried to convince himself that it was fine. He didn't care about Brian either, especially not since he had hurt Haru.

He glanced up in front of said girl, who like him, had been watching Brian since he entered the classroom. Her eyes trailed him until he took his seat. She had been thinking, just like Jae, why Brian had showed up to class today when he usually skipped every period. Once he sat down, she teared her eyes away and stared down at her paper.

Jae kicked her softly under the table. "Hey, you okay?"

Haru looked up, red at being caught, but nodded. Jae knew about her feelings, but she didn't want to burden him anymore than she already had.

"I'm fine." She said, trying to sound certain, but her voice wavered at the end.

Jae looked unconvinced, opening his mouth to counter what she was saying, but suddenly he saw her expression change when she saw someone behind him. Haru had changed from looking sad and upset to guilty and upset. Jae turned around, confused at why her expression changed so quickly. All he saw was Sungjin sitting by himself at a table, looking deep in thought.

Jae was confused as to why Haru was looking so guiltily at him and wondered if something happened between them. Before he could ask however, someone came loudly into the class.

Wonpil was barrelling through the door, out of breath from running down the halls. He bowed multiple times to the teacher, apologizing before speaking hurriedly to her. After hearing what he had to say, she told the class to continue studying quietly, before making her way out.

Wonpil, flushed and embarrassed, rushed towards his usual seat before he saw Sungjin and his eyes widened. Sungjin rose and opened his mouth as if he was about to say something to Wonpil, but the other boy avoided his eyes and quickly made his way to the back of the class where Dowoon was seated.

Dowoon had his earphones in and his eyes closed, almost as if he was falling asleep. He immediately opened his eyes, however, when he felt someone settle next to him. His eyes widened, taking in Wonpil. Something in his expression changed and softened when he looked at the other boy, and he wordlessly shifted to make room for him, taking out one earphone to hand to Wonpil.

Wonpil accepted it, gratefully shooting a smile at Dowoon before settling down fully next to him, not looking back at Sungjin once. Sungjin stood still, frozen, staring at Wonpil and Dowoon from across the class, face twisted in some type of hurt.

Jae watched all of this unfold with wide eyes, surprised at the level of comfort between Wonpil and Dowoon. His eyebrows scrunched with confusion over Sungjin and Wonpil's weird behavior and again wondered if anything happened between them.

He tore his eyes away before any of them could notice him staring. He had enough to worry about himself, he thought, shaking his head. He failed to notice the one pair of eyes which were on him as well.

~~

Brian sat at the very back of the class, wondering why he even bothered showing up. Usually he just napped or caught up on homework in the art classroom, not even bothering to show up during this time.

Ever since the day Jae had come barging into his house, things had shifted between them. There was noticeable tension whenever they met each other's gaze and Jae avoided him like the plague. Brian justified it to himself that Jae was never his friend anyway, but there was an ache in his chest that just wouldn't go away, as if to counter his thoughts.

He would never admit it to himself, but he missed Jae. He missed having a friend to talk to everyday, missed their jokes and conversations in half English, half Korean. He missed seeing Jae every day after school, or in school. He just missed Jae in general.

But he still felt anger for the boy. Anger for not trusting him and believing what other people said about him, when most of it was untrue. And yet, despite that, he still missed him immensely.

He just wanted to see him once. That was why Brian had chosen not to skip study period today, as stupid as that was. He knew Jae would be there with his stupidly annoying loud laugh and his stupidly annoying bright smile that made Brian want to punch him in the mouth.

Brian shook those thoughts out of his head, furrowing his eyebrows. He officially thought he was going insane, because there was no way he was missing Jae.

Why was he even here?He regretted coming the minute he entered the class. He made eye contact with Jae from across the class and immediately knew this was a mistake. Being so close to Jae already made his heart pound and expanded the hole next to it.

He quickly made his way to the back of the class, collapsing into a seat in the very corner. He closed his eyes, willing himself not to glance at Jae.

However his eyes were always drawn to the strawberry blonde and Brian cursed himself for not even being able to look away from him. Jae was staring intently down at his notes, a cute pout already forming on his lips, and Brian tried not to think about what could be making him frustrated so much.

Brian sighed, hating himself for not even being able to regret coming to class today when even the small sight of Jae made it worth it.

~~

 

Study period dragged on, occasionally being interrupted by a loud joke or the scraping of chairs. Many students preferred to study in the library during study period, so there weren't many students left in the classroom.

Finally the bell rang, signaling the end of the period, but the teacher still wasn't back yet. Wonpil silently packed up all his stuff, waiting back for Dowoon to finish gathering all his things as well.

The pair were making their way out of the class, when Sungjin suddenly grabbed Wonpil's arm.

Wonpil flinched, alerting Dowoon to what Sungjin was doing and he immediately inserted himself in between Sungjin and Wonpil, dislodging Sungjin's hand in the process.

Sungjin looked hurt, staring at Wonpil with pleading eyes. "Wonpil, can we please talk?" he asked.

Dowoon looked between Wonpil and Sungjin, seeing how Wonpil already began to turn weak in front of Sungjin. Dowoon selfishly did not want Wonpil to hear whatever Sungjin had to say. He twisted around and took Wonpil's hand into his, forcing him to look at him.

Dowoon stared at Wonpil, conveying his concern and caution against speaking with Sungjin.

Sungjin noticed the way Dowoon pulled Wonpil's hand in his and immediately scrunched his eyebrows. Since when had they been that close? Was something going on between them? Sungjin frowned, questioning himself about their own friendship. He felt ashamed at how little he knew about his friend at the moment.

How had they drifted this far apart? Sungjin knew it was his fault and the words Wonpil had said to him the last time they spoke had been replaying in his mind ever since. He could barely fathom that his best friend of 4 years was –had? been in love with him.

"Wonpil..." Sungjin said, trying to reach around Dowoon to grab Wonpil's hand instead, but Wonpil twisted away from Sungjin, releasing his hand from Dowoon as well.

He only wanted to escape from the two boys that were making him feel suffocated. Away from the hurt Sungjin still caused him to feel and away from Dowoon's inquisitive eyes.

As he turned away, he knocked into one of the desks, knocking over the paint can at the edge of the desk. The can's lid flew open and spilled the contents of paint all over the floor. They were meant to be kept in the art classroom, but seeing as that classroom was abandoned, many of the art supplies were kept in empty classrooms.

The bright can of red paint, stained the ground along with Wonpil's shoes, causing enough noise to knock the boys out of their stupor.

"What is that noise!" Teacher Kim called from outside the class, alerted by the crash, stepping in to the disaster inside.

"Kim Wonpil, Yoon Dowoon, Park Sungjin!"

The three boys turned at the sound of their names, all wide eyed at the incident before them.

"What on earth happened here?" the teacher asked.

"I'm sorry, seonsaengnim, it was an accident, I knocked over the can." Wonpil said, guiltily.

"No!" Sungjin interjected, "It was my fault, I startled Wonpil."

Wonpil turned to argue with him, but the teacher cut both of them off, not in the mood for arguing, "Regardless of who's fault, you should not be in this classroom after the bell. Detention for all of you after school today!"

Wonpil lowered his head, nodding, wondering if he was grateful for the teacher's interruption or not.

~~

Outside that room, Brian was making his way towards his next class when he heard Haru and Jae arguing in the hall.

"Just let it go!" Brian heard Jae raise his voice, frustration seeping into his words.

Brian was worried, but told himself he shouldn't care. He began walking away when he heard Haru say his name.

"I can't! Why have you been more sensitive to this than me? Do you have feelings for Brian too?" Haru said in a jest, before being stunned at Jae's silence.

Brian felt his heart begin to beat wildly in his chest, eyes widening. He quickly turned around the corner, placing his back against the wall where they were talking. He mentally scolded himself for eavesdropping on their conversation, but for some reason, he had to hear what Jae said next.

It was quiet for a long time before Jae spoke again. "How could you even think that? Of course I don't." he said, taking in a shuddering breath.

Brian's heart sank, and he berated himself for even sticking around to listen. Why did he think the answer was going to be anything else? Why had he wanted it to be anything different?

He quickly shook himself off, wanting to turn and leave before they found him there.

Before he could, however, Teacher Kim walked out of the class, spotting Haru and Jae loitering around outside in the hallway.

"You two! Why aren't you in class? Detention for both of you after school!" She pointed at Jae and Haru, already irritated.

Brian heard Haru gasp and tried to escape quietly, but the teacher spotted him before he could run away.

"Kang! Stop right there, what are you doing in the halls too? Detention for you as well!" She called out to him.

He scowled but didn't argue, knowing Teacher Kim was already in an angry mood and didn't want to make her any more mad by arguing. She might give him two days of detention then.

Jae was staring at him with wide eyes and Brian glared back with all the strength he could muster. Because of course Jae didn't like him.

~~

After school saw Brian, Jae, Haru, Sungjin, Dowoon and Wonpil all back in the study classroom, Teacher Kim with her arms crossed in front of her, not noticing (or maybe just not acknowledging) the awkward air between the six students.

Brian was scowling at anyone who dared to look at him, and stood a little ways away from the group, ignoring everyone in the room. Dowoon was standing in between Wonpil and Sungjin, almost as if he did not want the two to even be close to each other. Sungjin kept trying to catch Wonpil's eye, while the latter was dutifully trying to avoid looking in his general direction. Jae also had a frown firmly set on his face and his eyes could not help but flit to Brian every other second. Each time he would rip his eyes away and jolt as if someone had electrocuted him. Haru kept looking back and forth between Brian and Sungjin, her face churning between multiple conflicting expressions.

"You three." Teacher Kim pointed to Wonpil, Sungjin and Dowoon. "I want this room spotless by the time I get back. You will clean up all the paint, and wash the black boards." She said with a stern voice, leaving no room for argument.

"Yes, seonsaengnim." They chorused, downheartedly.

"Park and Kang! I want you two organizing the supplies closet on the second floor!"

"But, seonsaengnim!" Jae called, eyes anxious.

"No arguing! Haru-ah you can follow me, I have some work for you to do in the main office." She motioned with her hand for the girl to follow her.

Haru shot an apologetic look at Jae over her shoulder, before sparing one last glance at Brian, who was now staring intensely at Jae.

Jae breathed out, looking back at Brian who quickly averted his eyes and was now glaring disinterestedly at his shoes.

"Well, let's get started, yeah?" Jae nervously called towards Brian.

Brian didn't say anything but made his way towards the door, shouldering Jae as he passed.

Jae stared at his retreating back with slight hurt, but hurriedly followed him out of the room.

As the others left, Wonpil immediately picked up one of the mops leaning on the side of the wall, intending to get started immediately with cleaning up the mess the paint had caused. He scrubbed furiously, trying to ignore the other occupants in the room.

Sungjin sighed, knowing he would never get to talk to Wonpil, let alone get him willing to speak with him as long as Dowoon was in the room. Sungjin and Dowoon followed his lead, grabbing the mops in silence and beginning to clean up the mess.

The tension in the room was turned up to 10, Sungjin shooting Wonpil glances under his lashes that Wonpil dutifully pretended he did not see. Dowoon continued to glare at Sungjin, feeling angry that Sungjin would even try to talk to Wonpil again after ignoring him for months, and also slightly jealous because he knew Wonpil probably still loved him.

Neither of the boys said anything, even as they finished up cleaning the floor and moved on to the black boards.

After a few minutes, Teacher Kim poked her head inside the door and called to Dowoon, motioning for him to come outside to talk with her.

Dowoon dropped his brush and turned to leave the room. She closed the door behind them and proceeded to talk to him outside in the hallway.

"Now, we still haven't discussed your post-secondary plans. You must have an idea of what you want to do? What about Seoul National University? Looking at the way your grades have improved, I'm sure you could make it in." She said, earnestly.

Dowoon shrugged, uncomfortable. He honestly didn't know what he wanted to do. He never had any solid idea, even before his mom had passed away. His only real dream had been to be a drummer, before his dad had crushed it with his harsh words and disappointments.

Dowoon didn't even know what he wanted to do now. Did he want to go to university? Did he even have enough funds to even get into university? Surely his dad would not pay for them, and the school did not even know about his father or that he was staying with Wonpil's family for the past couple months now.

He shrugged again, uncertain. The teacher's eyes softened, seeing he was conflicted.

"Ah, don't worry too much Dowoon-ah, you still have a couple months to decide, yeah?"

He nodded, grateful she didn't push him to speak like some of his other teachers would.

"Okay, get back to cleaning." She said, nodding back to the classroom before turning and leaving.

Dowoon turned back and walked towards the door, hearing muffled voices coming from within. His heart clenched, knowing they were Sungjin and Wonpil. He had half the mind to burst in there now and disturb their conversation, but he stood still, pressing his ear against the door.

"I just need time, Wonpil!" Sungjin shouted. "This was a lot to process!"

"Time is all I've been giving you!" Wonpil yelled back, voice cracking. "I've been waiting for you for four years, hyung! Never once have you felt the same about me as I have about you!"

Dowoon's heart clenched at how broken Wonpil sounded.

"Because I never considered it! I never knew that was how you felt!"

"And even if you did? What would have happened then? Would you have said you felt the same about me? It would be all lies, hyung! And that's worse than you not loving me at all." Wonpil finished.

The room became deathly quiet, and Dowoon strained to hear what was said next.

Dowoon had one hand on the handle, ready to open the door, when he heard Sungjin quietly asked, "Would you wait for me Wonpil? If I could return your feelings?"

Dowoon felt his breath hitch and his heart stop in his chest.

Wonpil was quiet, and Dowoon would rather get hit by a bus at the moment than hear what his next answer was.

He let go of the door handle, making a clanging noise as it was released. He didn't wait for the people inside to realize he was there; he immediately bolted down the hall and out of the school, his heart beating too slowly in his chest.

~~

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hate myself for writing this angst (つд｀)  
> things will get resolved soon, i swear!!   
> my bby dowoon~~ *cries for him*


	9. I think that I have waited long enough for you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhhh!!  
> hello my beautiful readers!!  
> it's been a LONG time since my last update, i'm so sorry!!!  
> but i have my exams at the end of this month and soon i'll have so much more time to write and finish this fic!  
> i'm sorry about the slow updates but im rlly just trying to make everything perfect and allow everyone's feelings to be explained!!!! accept this chapter as my apology!! (*´д｀*)  
> enjoy the update and thankyou for waiting patiently! <333

Wonpil tensed the moment Dowoon was pulled out of the room by Teacher Kim.

It was only him and Sungjin in the room now and Wonpil did not want to face the confrontation he knew was going to happen.

Wonpil had been thinking a lot since the day he had confessed to Sungjin. 

The throbbing in his heart hadn't hurt any less, but it had become less discomforting whenever Dowoon was near. The other boy made the pain recede to a slow throb, and made Wonpil smile a little more every day. Even if he didn't say anything, just his presence was enough to put Wonpil's mind at ease.

Thinking about Sungjin, however, still made him hurt, and being in the same room was almost unbearable. Wonpil tried to avoid him as much as he could but Sungjin was persistent in trying to talk to him.

"Wonpil." He called, stopping his scrubbing as he faced the other boy head on.

"Wonpil." 

 _"Wonpil."_ Wonpil sighed and finally turned to look at Sungjin, who looked exhausted.

"Sungjin." He chorused, trying to keep any emotion out of his voice.

Sungjin looked slightly pained at the cold tone Wonpil was using.

"Wonpil please, I know you're mad right now, but can you just act like you care for one minute?" Sungjin pleaded.

Wonpil tried to act indifferent but his facade broke the minute Sungin started talking.

 His anger spiked when Sungjin even dared to say he was the one who didn't care about him.   

"Act like  _I_  care? Me? All I have been doing is caring for you." He said bitterly. "All I wanted was for  _you_ to act like  _you_  cared for even a second about me. All you did was chase Haru, forgetting about me and making me feel as if I didn't exist." The words tumbling out of his mouth, unable to stop after he started. 

Sungjin truly looked regretful, his face scrunching at Wonpil's words. 

"I do still care about you." Sungjin claimed.

"You sure have a funny way of showing it,  _hyung_."

"I just need time, Wonpil!" Sungjin pleaded. "This was a lot to process!"

"Time is all I've been giving you!" Wonpil yelled back, voice cracking. "I've been waiting for you for four years, hyung! Never once have you felt the same about me as I have about you!"

Wonpil knew his love was hopeless, Sungjin would never feel the same and he wouldn't want him to pretend, it would only hurt more.

"Because I never considered it! I never knew that was how you felt!" Sungjin said, sounding desperate.

"And even if you did? What would have happened then? Would you have said you felt the same about me? It would be all lies, hyung! And that's worse than you not loving me at all." Wonpil whispered, exhausted.

The room was silent and Wonpil knew he had already said all he needed to say.

Suddenly, Sungjin looked into his eyes and said, "Would you wait for me Wonpil? If I could return your feelings?"

Wonpil started, shocked into silence by the question. What was Sungjin saying? That he could love Wonpil back?

Wonpil thought about Sungjin's calm demeanor and his strong hands. About weekends spent aimlessly chatting about school work, and hours spent just the two of them. About staring at him as the other boy did his homework, eyes lighting up as Wonpil asked him a question about his project. He thought about Sungjin's dark eyes that stared into his, making him feel like he was melting sometimes.

But then he also recalled Sungjin leaving him without a second thought. He remembered sitting alone, watching Sungjin stare at Haru. Turning to laugh with his friend, only to realize that Sungjin was not there to smile along to his usual antics. 

He remembered rain, and Sungjin not being there with the umbrella.

Wonpil opened his mouth to reply, when suddenly, he heard the door handle shudder.

Dowoon had left earlier to talk to Teacher Kim, and was probably heading back when he heard them talking. Wonpil felt his breathing hitch, realizing that Dowoon had probably heard what Sungjin had said seconds before. 

His heart clenched at the thought of what Dowoon might be thinking at the moment. Why was it doing that? Sungjin was his first love and his heart still ached to be near him and yet...

He looked towards the door and thought about Dowoon's wordless comfort, a presence that never left Wonpil's side. His big brown eyes that always conveyed so much hurt and yet still tried his hardest to ease Wonpil's pain. He thought about how he  wanted to protect the other boy from everything bad in the world. Dowoon's rare but breathtaking smile that always made Wonpil feel inadvertently proud every time he made it appear on the other boy's face. How Wonpil didn't know how, but he always felt better around Dowoon; the pain in his heart easing every moment he spent with him.  

He and Sungjin both stared towards the door. Wonpil immediately got up, making towards the door, mind racing with where Dowoon could have gone. 

His hand had already grabbed the door nob and flung open the door before Sungjin reached and grabbed his other arm, stopping him in his tracks. 

"Wait." Sungjin said, almost as urgent as Wonpil. "Please, give me an answer."

Wonpil glanced down at the hand that was clutching his arm and thought about how the touch felt like a burn.

"I think..." He paused, looking up into Sungjin's eyes. 

For the first time since Sungjin had stopped speaking with him, he felt the pressure in his chest ease and recede, a new urgency to find Dowoon arising in him. 

"I think that I have waited long enough for you, Sungjin." Wonpil said, before ripping his arm away and racing out the door.

~~

Jae tried not to stare at Brian as he carefully packed away pencils, but it was quite the feat, since his eyes kept getting drawn back to the dark haired boy.

Jae wondered why he was so drawn into the other boy, and why he felt so strongly about him. He thought back to Haru's questions, why  _did_ he care so much? Brian was only his friend. Well, ex-friend now, he guessed. It wasn't like Brian had rejected Jae, so why was he feeling so hard about it? Why was he so mad when he found out Brian had rejected Haru. Or was it because Haru had feelings for Brian? 

He shook his head. He was being ridiculous. Of course it was only because he was angry about the cold rejection he had given his best friend. Then Haru had questioned about if he had feelings for Brian... It was only a jest to rile him up and yet why had he stumbled at the question and taken a minute to answer? Of course he didn't like Brian. He had hurt his best friend, acted indifferent and superior over everyone who tried to approach him and doesn't care for anyone's feelings.

But that was before he got to know the other boy. Before he learned that he also laughed like the sun shone from his smile, his eyes crinkling shut when he found something particularly funny. He was never cold around Jae. 

He let him win when playing video games (even when he could have clearly taken him out), if only to see Jae's smile light up when he won. He acted like he was tough to the world, but inside he secretly cared about what people thought about him. Jae guessed that he never had much affection with others, so when Jae even put his arm around his shoulders, he unconsciously leaned in ever so slightly. It made Jae want to pull him closer. He clearly had a love for music and sounded so nervous when speaking about the songs he had been writing that Jae couldn't help but be charmed.

Jae didn't know what that meant and doubted his own feelings. He had never questioned his own sexuality before, preferring to just go with the flow. He never found anyone who could capture his attention as much as Brian could. 

Sure he talked and made friends with anyone and everyone, but he preferred to flit from place to place, never feeling like he had to be rooted. With Brian, he felt like grabbing his hand and running with him. He wanted to be near the boy and listen to him sing and play basketball. He wanted to talk with him all night under the stars and have him reveal the side of him that only Jae sees. He started himself with his feelings, wondering what was going on with him. 

But feeling the awkward tension surrounding them now, he wondered if that would never happen. The other boy had his eyebrows furrowed and a scowl set firmly in place as he worked. 

Jae regretted what he said to Brian at his house; he didn't really believe any of the rumors other people spread about him. He was only caught up in the moment, indignation towards Brian's heartless treatment towards Haru and the sour feeling he felt in his stomach when Haru told him she confessed to him. He hated himself for even feeling relieved when she said he rejected her, before he got angry at him for hurting her so harshly. 

However, Jae could not do anything about it; he was too proud to apologize and didn't know if Brian would even accept his apology. But, he also hated that Brian would avoid him now at all costs and wouldn't even look at him without glaring. How did they even get here?

The tension in the room was stifling, but both boys dutifully ignored it.

Brian was forcing himself not to turn around even when he could feel the other's eyes on his back. Jae had made it clear that he obviously had no feelings for him, so why did he still care about him? Brian should never have become so close to him in the first place. It was a mistake and he berated himself for even thinking Jae could care for him. For  _wishing_  that he would.

The quiet sound of pencils hitting containers was all that filled the small room as the two boys worked diligently at sorting through the mess.

Brian only prayed that they could get this done quickly.

Suddenly, Jae abruptly stood up and bumped into one of the desks, causing a large box to drop to the ground, spilling writing utensils everywhere. Jae immediately dropped to his knees, swooping to pick up the pencils, cursing himself for being clumsy. Brian reacted without thinking as well and began to gather the fallen supplies.

Jae's ears were red from embarrassment, forcing himself to look anywhere but Brian. The space between them was so small, their knees were almost touching. Jae could feel Brian's overwhelming presence next to him and could hear his breathing beside him. 

Brian and Jae reached for the same pencil at the same time and their hands brushed. Jae burned a bright scarlet and flinched, pulling his hand away immediately.

Brian noticed immediately and his eyes hardened, glaring at Jae's hand for a second before his face cleared into an impassive expression. He turned away from Jae, busying himself in putting away the fallen pencils.

Jae breathed out, feeling regretful, like he had done something he shouldn't have.

"Hyung." He called.

Brian pretended not to hear, ignoring the other. What else could he say that could possibly hurt him more?

"Hyung," Jae huffed, "Can we please talk?"

"About what?" Brian answered, emotionless.

"About..." Jae started, uncertain now.

Brian turned around to stare at him, head on, leaning with his elbows against a shelf.

His motions were casual, as if he didn't care about what the younger had to say, but his posture and body was stiff, showing the complete opposite and giving away his frustration.

"About what? About how you were never actually my friend? That you only pretended to care. Let's talk about how you  _obviously_  don't _like_ me." Brian snarked, repeating the other's words for only a few hours ago. 

Jae felt like there was something underlying the last one, something he didn't understand yet, but should.

"I was always your friend, hyung. But Haru is also my best friend, and you cold-heartedly turned her down and made fun of her feelings." Jae said, voice raising at the end.

Brian didn't want to argue with Jae again, but almost felt helpless as his anger spiked.

"Haru doesn't know a thing about me." Brian said, raising his voice above Jae's.

"That's an excuse, hyung, and you know it. Why couldn't you even give her a chance?" Jae countered, even though his chest slightly clenched even at the thought. "Is she not good enough for you?"

As they argued, the boys had begun drifting closer.

Jae didn't know why he was saying that, words just spewing out of his mouth. He was frustrated, but not because of what he was saying, but because Brian had been avoiding him and he was confused about his own feelings.

A little part in his heart screamed at him to shut up, he didn't want Brian to feel anything towards Haru anyways. A more incredulous part yelled that of course he would want his best friend to be happy, where had that even come from?

While Jae was conflicted, Brian felt his anger simmer and explode over.

"Of course I don't want to be with her!" He yelled. "How could I even think about her, when you're here, taking up my mind every second of the day!" Brian roared, not even thinking as he spoke what he had been feeling.

"Making me confused and happy and not able to concentrate on anything else!"

He didn't even realize it was the truth, until he had blurted out the words without thought.

How could he even notice Haru when Jae was all that took up his mind? When the other boy caught his attention without even trying. How effortlessly had Jae made himself a part of his life, inserting himself into everything aspect, making him crave his presence and miss him when he wasn't around. Everything was dimmer and less bright without Jae there.  _Stupid, stupid Jae._

Over the past week that Brian had been ignoring Jae, he felt himself slip into how he was before he met him. Irrationally angry at everyone and everything; his temper becoming shorter and his attendance to class becoming scarce. He felt angry at Jae, but really he just missed him. And then he would get even angrier at himself for even missing the other. He had survived his whole life without anyone else by his side, so would he need someone now? But then why did he miss the other so much? The happiness Jae caused whenever he was around, multiplied the hole in his chest when he wasn't. 

Jae's eyes widened comically, his mouth gaping open like a fish.

Brian groaned, clenching his eyes and mentally berating himself. He shouldn't care about Jae anymore. He told himself to stop.

"Forget it." He gritted, intending to leave the room and never set foot into that school again.

Obviously, Jae didn't feel the same, why would he? Brian had just made a fool of himself.

 _Stupid, stupid._ He thought.

Suddenly, he felt a hand reach out and clutch the front of his shirt, jerking him forward. 

Brian was pulled into a lean body, and before he even had a moment to process anything, he  abruptly felt a warm mouth on his.

Brian's eyes jerked open in surprise.

Jae had his own eyes clenched shut and his cheeks were flushed a bright red, but his mouth continued pressing insistently on Brian's. 

Brian instinctively brought his hands to the other boy's waist, his anger and frustration melting at the first touch of their mouths. Brian's mind went blank, unable to focus on anything besides the younger boys soft lips on his.

Jae's pouty lips slotted nicely with Brian's, the kiss being slightly untargeted and non-skillful at first. As Brian woke up from his shock, he began moving his lips against Jae's, making the other boy gasp in surprise and unconsciously push his way closer to him.

Jae backed them up until they hit the shelf Brian had been leaning on moments earlier, the sound of crashing pencils raining down on them again, but this time, neither of them cared.

Jae wondered what he was doing. He didn't plan on kissing Brian, hadn't even been thinking about it before Brian had blurted out his feelings. He was stunned and his heart began to speed up the minute Brian had let the accidental words slip. 

All he could focus on was Brian's lips and the way they moved when he spoke. The way they pulled up when he smiled and the down turned line of his lips when he scowled.

All of a sudden his own feelings made sense.  

He couldn't think about anything else but the way those lips would feel against his and how he would really, _really_ like to kiss him right now.  

So he did.

The two boys only broke for a breath when they were about to pass from lack of oxygen, panting into each other's mouths. Jae glanced at Brian, whose hands were still on his waist. They were standing chest to chest, still pressed against the metal shelf and breathing heavily.

Jae was the first to break the silence, still gripping onto Brian's shirt.

He looked up into Brian's eyes and felt all the confusion melt from himself.

"Ditto." He said, grinning up at him with his trademark smirk, happiness starting to singe through his veins. 

Brian stared steadily back at him, until slowly, he broke out into a wide grin and thought that maybe, _maybe_  he could get used to this.

~~

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg finally some happiness for brian and jae!!??????  
> :))))


	10. Now is enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYSSSS!! my exams are officially over and summer break has started!!  
> im so excited to finish this story, but i can't believe its ending 흫_흫  
> i believe there will be ONE more chapter, which will be the epilogue!!  
> can't thank you all enough for your sweet comments and love for this story <333

Haru stared at the papers she was supposed to be filing away. The names and words in front of her swirled and became unfocused, her thoughts far away on the boys in the other room.

Her mind was constantly replaying everything that had happened in the past few days. Most prominently centered around Brian, but recently her thoughts also strayed towards Sungjin. She couldn't help but feel guilty whenever she thought of the other boy, his hurt face flashing in her mind every time she thought back to his confession. 

When he had confessed, the only thing on her mind was Brian. Sungjin was a good friend, and was so kind, but she couldn't find it in herself to harbor any more feelings for him than friendship. It constantly made her feel guilty, but her own heart hurt from Brian's rejection, so much so that she could barely focus on anything else.

Brian's face had been twisted in ridicule as he rejected her, but she could also see an under layer of vulnerability, almost as if he was convincing himself that no one could care about him. It made her angry but also sad.

She wanted to be there for him; hold his hand when he got nervous, remind him that she cared for him. Wanted to be the one that broke down his walls and be on the receiving end of his blinding smiles. Haru wanted to scream in his face that she would be there for him, if only he'd let her.

The only person who she had ever seen him act even the slightest bit warm to was Jae. She understood that they were just friends; however that did nothing to deter the jealousy that built up in her chest whenever she saw them together. It caused her to lash out at him, made her jealous of her best friend.

She was just being petty. Even though she knew Brian had rejected her, it didn't stop her feelings for him or the hope that one day, he would return them.

She sighed, putting away the file in her hand. She thumbed the one underneath it, reading the neat hangul on the top of the file. 

'Yoon Dowoon'.

She couldn't help but feel curious about the silent boy. Many girls in their class screamed and squealed over the idol-looking boy, but he didn't seem to give them any heed, despite his popularity. Many of the other boys in their class didn't speak to him, most of them just jealous of the attention he gained by the girls, despite never speaking at all. And that fact didn't contribute to their want to befriend him either. They only labeled him the 'weird mute kid' and went about their business.

She usually never noticed Dowoon, him being completely silent and usually dozing off in class. Recently, though, she has seen Wonpil and him together a lot. She furrowed her eyebrows, when had they become so close? She had thought that Sungjin was Wonpil's best friend and had been for almost four years.

She sighed again, it was really none of her business. But that didn't stop her from being curious about who Dowoon was. 

She glanced around. No one was currently in the office; Teacher Kim giving her instructions to put away all the files on her desk before leaving through the doors again. 

She hesitated before thumbing open his file.

There was only standard information about his academics and previous high schools. Haru sighed to herself, what was she doing? What had she expected to find in there? She scanned downwards before catching on his family information.

Her eyes widened. He had lost his mother barely a year ago. She felt instant pity for Dowoon, he had no siblings and only his dad left.

Her eyebrows furrowed, however, when she read the scribbled note underneath that line. It looked like Teacher Kim's handwriting. 

Hastily written underneath his family information were the words, 'Suspicions of parental abuse. Bruises and cuts in various places. High probability of verbal abuse. Boy will not say a thing.'

Haru gasped inaudibly and closed the file quickly. She was sure that was something she should not have read and was definitely not her business. She had never noticed anything indicating that Dowoon was having trouble at home. But then again, she had never paid much attention to the him. Considering he never spoke, it only made it that much harder to notice something was wrong. 

Haru quickly put the file in its proper place and looked to see if Teacher Kim had returned. She couldn't help but feel worried for Dowoon.

~~

Dowoon panted, his breathing ragged and the beating of his heart erratic. 

He didn't know whether it was from running so hard, or because of the mixed emotions he felt bubbling inside him. He tried to convince himself it was the former. 

He had no idea where he was running to, but he just couldn't stop. He could never stop. He was always running. Running away from things. Now, running away from his own complicated feelings.

What he felt for Wonpil was much past friendship or gratitude. He knew he was only slowly developing feelings for the boy, almost inevitable with the way Wonpil had cared of him. He was the first person who ever truly seen him, who showed him kindness since his mom died, who talked to him like a normal person, even if Dowoon never said anything back. Wonpil's heart was so big, sometimes Dowoon wondered how it could fit inside his body.

But he knew Wonpil didn't love him. It was exactly his big heart that caused him to be kind to Dowoon, nothing else. Of course Wonpil only felt pity for him, but that didn't stop Dowoon's feelings from trying to convince him otherwise.

He knew, but had tried to ignore that Wonpil was still in love with Sungjin. He knew from the very beginning, but didn't want it to be true. Dowoon had seen the expression on Wonpil's face whenever he looked at Sungjin. The love and longing in his eyes whenever Sungjin was near. It made his own chest ache, that Wonpil would never look at him like that.

His mind flashed back to Sungjin's words. 'Would you wait for me Wonpil? If in the future I could return your feelings?'

Of course Wonpil would say yes. He would be over the moon that Sungjin might be able to return his feelings. Why did this make his chest ache so much? Wonpil being excited, and happy, and... abandoning Dowoon.

He shouldn't have ever allowed himself to hope. This wasn't permanent. He had to remind himself, he had to eventually leave Wonpil's care sooner or later. This was only inevitable.

He turned around the corner and slumped against a wall, his fingers grabbing for purchase against the brick surface. He needed a plan. He had to leave now. He would only become more of a burden to Wonpil and his family. They couldn't house him forever. He cursed himself for not even thinking about leaving sooner. But even now, the thought of leaving Wonpil left him feeling hollow inside.

His mind flashed to the savings he still had in the bag in his old house. He had never wanted to resort to getting it, but he would need that money to find a place to stay for the time being. It wasn't much, but it was defiantly better than nothing. There was absolutely no way he was going to go back and live in that house with his dad, but he must get the money if he didn't want to be on the streets

He panted against the wall, his mind made up. His dad would most likely be passed out on the couch anyways, drunk out of his mind. He probably did not even care that Dowoon had left; was even happy about it.

Mind made up, Dowoon stood up and began running again towards his old address, completely unaware of the voice that was calling his name, a few streets away.

~~

Dowoon approached the house with caution; the wooden porch creaking heavily as he hesitantly stepped on it. He tried pulling on the handle, and to his surprise, the door swung open. His dad didn't even bother locking it anymore.

He slowly crept in through the door, head peaking in to check if anyone was home. No one was in the living room, but the kitchen looked like a disaster. It looked as if no one had cleaned the house in months. Dowoon wrinkled his nose at the mess but quickly ran up the stairs, heart beating in his ears.

He needed to get in, get the money, and get out as quickly as possible. He sprinted up to his old bedroom, the memories flooding him as soon as he entered. Memories of his mother crashing over him like a tidal wave, but he pushed them away, focused on retrieving his savings.

He dove underneath the bed, to the smallest corner on the far end of the bed where it was connected with the wall. His father would never had been able to fit under there, which is exactly why he had hid it there. Inside was a couple million won, almost his entire life savings. He clutched the bag tight in his fist.

He swiftly crawled back out and got up from under the bed, making his way out of his room. Taking one glance back, if only to preserve the memories, one last time.

He sighed inaudibly, mouthing a goodbye to his mom, and closed the door softly on his way out. 

He was almost to the stairs before a hard voice called out, "Who's there!"

Dowoon's heart immediately sped up, the fear in his heart multiplying tenfold.

Heavy footsteps were coming out of the room adjacent to the stairs, and Dowoon knew it was his father. He quickly rushed towards the stairs, but before he could even reach the first step and large hand reached out and grabbed his arm, yanking him backwards.

Dowoon cried out an inaudible gasp, the grip causing pain to bloom in his arm.

His father stood above in front of him, his face twisted in fury and a stagger in his step, no doubt from drinking again.

"You dare come back here, you disgrace of a son!" He yelled, spit flying everywhere.

"I thought I told you to go! You come back here when you can't survive on your own, eh? I always knew you were useless! How have you even been surviving? Sucking dick like the faggot you are, I bet!"

Dowoon struggled to get out of his grasp, his father's hand still clutched around his arm, slowly squeezing it tighter as he yelled. Dowoon gasped when his father tugged his arm again, twisting it to the side with heavy force. Dowoon yelped, and tears threatened to spill over Dowoon's cheeks, pain searing through his arm.

His father then brought his other hand up and backhanded Dowoon hard across the face. Dowoon's head flew to the side, and he tasted blood in his mouth.

"How do you think your mother would feel? Huh, if she saw you now? This good for nothing, pathetic excuse for a son!"

For almost a year Dowoon had been listening to his abuse, and even before that his father had berated and belittled his dreams until Dowoon felt like there was no hope in the world. He hated his father so much at the moment. For blaming him for his mother's death, for not accepting who he was, and for making him feel like he didn't deserve to live anymore.

He couldn't stand it anymore.

His father reached up to hit him again, but this time Dowoon swung out his own fist first and connected with his father's cheek, the stinging in his knuckles feeling like reprise. The older man grunted in pain and looked even more enraged that Dowoon had fought back, staggering in his attempt to swing at Dowoon again.

Dowoon noticed his action and immediately backed up and leaned to dodge his punch. However, he failed to notice that while they had been scuffling, his back was to the top of the stairs, and as he leaned back, he lost his entire footing on the top edge of the stairs. Immediately his foot slipped and his entire body was falling down the flight of stairs. 

He felt his head hit the edge of the stairs as he fell back, a sickening crunch still audible over the noise of his flailing limbs tumbling down the stairs.

Strangely, he thought he had heard someone shouting his name, as he fell. He felt arms wrapping around him, cradling his head after he had landed at the bottom of the stairs. 

Things were quickly loosing focus, but Dowoon could have sworn the arms around him felt familiar, but he couldn't place them. 

 _This oddly feels like it has happened before,_  Dowoon thought, right before he blacked out. 

Once again, he wouldn't mind staying there forever.

~~

Wonpil's mind had been racing ever since he left the classroom.

How much had Dowoon heard of their conversation? What could he be thinking right now?

He didn't know why, but he couldn't let Dowoon think that he would wait for Sungjin. Dowoon believed he still loved Sungjin, and for some reason, Wonpil had to let him know that that wasn't true. At the moment, he just wanted to find him and explain that nothing was going to happen between him and Sungjin.

His thoughts raced. Did he still love Sungjin? Wonpil felt that he always would somehow. They had been friends long before Wonpil had developed feelings, and there would always be the ache of a first love. 

But he was tired of waiting for someone who had left him. Was tired of always staring at someone, wishing they would turn around to look at him. He was tired of waiting in the rain, when there was someone else who was carrying an umbrella.

He ran through the streets, trying to spot Dowoon. He called out his name, hoping the other would hear, but there was no sign of him. Wonpil hoped the other boy had just returned to Wonpil's house and sprinted in that direction.

He hurried inside, yelling Dowoon's name as he ran through all the rooms. He was not there. Wonpil wracked his brain for any other places he might be and immediately thought to the roof. But he had heard Dowoon leave out the front doors of the school, and the door to the roof was still inside the school.

He was beginning to worry, and wracked his brain for anywhere else he might be. He could very well be anywhere.

Then he thought to Dowoon's old house, the one he had been running from. Maybe he had gone back there. It was a slight possibility, but the only other place Wonpil could think of. Wonpil didn't know for sure the situation between Dowoon and his family, but it seemed bad enough that Dowoon had run away. It was desperate but possible that Dowoon had headed there.

Wonpil ran out of his house again and onto the next street, having seen Dowoon take this path many times during his walk home. Wonpil had never paid much attention to him before, though, and cursed himself because he didn't actually know which exact house was his.

Suddenly, he heard a loud noise come from inside one of the houses to his left. Wonpil did not think, and printed towards it. The door was left open and unlocked, Wonpil not hesitating to open it. 

Just as he did, he saw a figure falling backwards from the top of the stairs. Wonpil yelled, recognizing the dark hair which could only belong to Dowoon. Wonpil's heart stuttered in his chest as he heard a sickening crunch of Dowoon's head hitting one of the steps.

Dowoon crumpled into a heap at the bottom of the stairs, Wonpil breaking out of his shock and rushing towards him in seconds.

"Dowoon!" Wonpil cried, seeing the other boys eyes fluttering, unfocused.

Wonpil quickly gathered him in his arms, gently cradling his head in his lap, feeling sick at the sight of blood beginning to ooze out of the right side of his head. His cheek was bright red and swollen, a nasty bruise already beginning to form around his eye. Wonpil's heart was ready to climb out of his lungs, anxiety swelling at the severe sight before him.

Dowoon's father stood at the top of the stairs, still staggering staring pale faced at the scene at the bottom of the stairs. 

Wonpil barely noticed him as he quickly pulled out his phone to call 119, tears constantly streaming down his face. He repeated reassuring nothings to Dowoon as he prayed for an ambulance to arrive quickly. 

"Shh, you're okay, you're okay." Wonpil whispered, repeating the words he had said not too long ago, and hoping that they were true.

~~

The beeping of a machine woke Dowoon up.

The sheets under him did not feel like the guest bed in Wonpil's house, nor the scratchy sheets of his old bedroom.

He struggled to remember where he was for a minute before opening his eyes. Looking around he, realized he was in the hospital.

His head felt like someone had taken a sledgehammer to it and banged it up inside his skull. The left side of his face was throbbing, his arm was inside a sling against his chest, and it slightly hurt every time he took in a breath. 

All of that barely mattered, however, when he saw the boy resting beside his bed.

Wonpil was slouched in a chair beside his bed, his body twisted in an uncomfortable angle and his chin propped against his chest. He was puffing air out of his nose as he slept, making cute noises, and his eyes were red and puffy like he had been crying.

Dowoon's chest swelled, wondering if Wonpil had been crying over him.

He remembered flashes from his fight with his dad, and he wondered if he wasn't dreaming the voice before he blacked out because it oddly sounded like Wonpil's.

Dowoon tried to sit up, but the pain in his ribs, caused him to gasp and jostle the bed.

This woke Wonpil up, his eyes flying open and blinking heavily until he spotted Dowoon.

"Dowoon!" he exclaimed, sitting up in his chair and leaning towards him, looking earnestly into Dowoon's eyes.

Before Dowoon could answer, the hospital room door flew open and one of the doctors walked in carrying a clip board. His name tag read Park Woonseok.

"Yoon Dowoon." Doctor Park said, adjusting his glasses. "Glad to see you're awake. You suffered a hard fall down the stairs, resulting in a minor concussion, two broken ribs, and a sprained arm. There was also a nasty bruise surrounding your eye, not caused by the stairs that looked like you obtained before the fall, correct?"

Dowoon looked nervous and anxious at the amount of questions being thrown at him at once. When the doctor mentioned the bruise around his eye, his face contorted and Wonpil could see he looked uncomfortable.

Yet again, before Dowoon could answer, there was a loud disruption from outside the room. The door busted open once again, and Dowoon's father strided in, as a nurse trailed after him.

"I am so sorry seonsaeng-nim! This man just barged in here and I could not stop him!" the nurse hurried to say, looking apologetically at the doctor.

"I am the father of this worthless mute here, and I can say whether he leaves or not! Do not think I am paying a single won for this treatment, he is leaving right now!" Dowoon's father yelled, marching towards Dowoon.

The minute he came into the room, Dowoon tensed, distress painted on his features as his father began making towards him.

This did not escape Wonpil or Doctor Park, who already had his suspicions about how Dowoon had received his injuries.

"Yoon-ssi. Please do not come any closer to your son. He is still healing and believe me, he most definitely does need this treatment."

Dowoon's father looked enraged at Doctor Park.

"Listen here, this faggot is my son, and he will come home whether he likes it or not!"

The nurse gasped loudly, Doctor Park's eyes widening.

The sound of a chair scraping loudly drew the attention of the whole group. Wonpil stood from his seat, looking even more enraged than Dowoon's father. His hands were shaking at his sides in barely contained anger, his eyes locked onto the older mans.

"How dare you say that about Dowoon!" Wonpil exclaimed.

Wonpil was thinking back to when Dowoon was passed out in his arms, head bleeding and multiple bruises already forming around his body. It was the most scared he has ever been in his entire life.

His hands shook hard as he dialed 119 and waited for the ambulance to come. He remembered looking to the top of the stairs where Dowoon's father had been standing, stock still in shock. Wonpil knew immediately that this was the man who had been causing Dowoon pain, and had never hated anyone more in his life. He had wanted to go up there and shake the man, maybe give him a punch himself, but he was more concerned with Dowoon.

He had stayed the entire night at Dowoon's bedside, waiting for the boy to wake up.

Now the man had the nerve to come here, insult and humiliate his son, and try to take him home when the boy wasn't even healed from the injuries that  _he_  had caused.

Wonpil was furious.

"How dare you come in here as if it wasn't you who hurt him! You do not deserve him as a son, and you are not his father. You are a monster." Wonpil said coldly, his voice almost shaking with emotion.

"Why you little..." Dowoon's father growled, changing stance towards Wonpil. "Who are you to be saying those things to me! You're probably a faggot too, right! That's why you're defending him, he's got you tricked!"

Wonpil looked unfazed, staring determinately back at him.

"I love Dowoon. After this, you will never see him again." Wonpil said calmly.

His father's eyes widened in rage and he began yelling and advancing towards Wonpil.

Doctor Park sensed the confrontation and immediately intercepted the older man, yelling for the nurse to get security. She yelped and hurried out of the room. Doctor Park was restraining Dowoon's father, who was yelling profanities at both Wonpil and Dowoon.

"Faggot! Worthless child! Your mother would be ashamed of you! You killed her!" He continued to yell even as he was dragged out of the room.

Doctor Park looked sympathetically at Dowoon, who was still in shock and had not moved since his father had left the room.

"Dowoon-gun." Doctor Park said, rubbing his glasses. "I just want you to know that there are many measures you can take against your father. Know that the hospital staff will even help you with them and that he will never be coming near you again. I'll leave you alone now, but I'll be back to speak to you later." He said, before leaving the door and shutting the door behind him.

Dowoon had been still the entire time, and now silence fell over the room with only him and Wonpil left in it.

Dowoon's mind raced at a million thoughts per mile, but his mind had almost short circuited at what Wonpil had said to his father. 

'I love Dowoon.' He had said, completely serious, voice not shaking at all.

Dowoon was still in shock, over everything that had happened but even more so by Wonpil's confession, which he said without hesitance, even standing up to his father and defending him. Wonpil did not look disgusted at Dowoon when his dad began yelling at him, but instead looked enraged at his father. 

Dowoon's eyebrows furrowed in deep thought, just as his heart continued its erratic pattern at the thought of Wonpil. 

Wonpil looked over at Dowoon, his expression nervous but still slightly angry over the entire affair. He suddenly realised what he said and his eyes widened. He just proclaimed that he loved Dowoon in front of him. He was so caught up in his anger that he had forgotten Dowoon was evem in the room. What if he hated him?

But the words were true, he realized. He didn't even hesitate in saying them. 

He loved Dowoon. He'd grown to love the boy who didn't speak, but still showed the most emotion in his deep eyes. Wonpil wanted to always be there for him, by his side, spend hours in silence with him. The silent boy who had slowly mended the hole in his heart, despite having multiple in his own. Dowoon who had been there for him this entire time and who Wonpil loved fully and truly, maybe even more than he had Sungjin. 

He already said he loved him, there was no going back now.

Wonpil was about to open his mouth, to tell him what he had set out to in the beginning; that nothing was going to happen between him and Sungjin, before a small and hesitant voice beat him to it. 

"Is it true?"

It was said so quiet that Wonpil would have missed it if he wasn't already staring at Dowoon. It took him a moment to comprehend that the words had come from the boy himself.

"Hngg?" said Wonpil, unintelligently.

Dowoon had his eyes wide and focused on Wonpils.

"Do you love me?" He clarified, his eyes wide and staring at Wonpil's hesitantly, with so much hope. 

His voice was gruff and slightly raspy from being unused, much lower than Wonpil had ever imagined.

His heart almost jumped out of his chest, eyes widening at the realization that Dowoon had just  _spoken_. To  _him_.

Wonpil gaped at hearing Dowoon's voice for the first time. He already felt addicted to it, like he could listen to him talk for hours. He  _wanted_  to hear him talk for hours.

Wonpil gulped, focusing his eyes back on Dowoon's and felt his throat go dry.

"Yes." He answered. "God, yeah." He breathed, shakily.

Dowoon felt his heart swell, feeling like it was even larger than his body could even hold. The boy in front of him made him so happy, he could barely comprehend it.

This boy defended him against his father, making him feel as if he wasn't worthless for the first time since his mom died. Like he actually had something to live for, even if it was just to see Wonpil smile. He felt the chains around his throat melting away, like he could finally breathe. Could finally speak. Wasn't afraid to speak. 

Using his voice for the first time in almost a year, felt weird, but in a good way. He felt himself hoping for the future, even when his past was full of hopelessness. Wonpil was here with him now. Saying that he loved him.

And even if it was only temporary, and even if a small part of Wonpil still loved Sungjin, for Dowoon, now was enough.

"Me too." He said, gruffly.

Wonpil's responding smile was the most beautiful thing Dowoon had ever seen.

~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *cries for my bby Dowoon  
> writing Dowoon's dad hurt me and if you are suffering from any form of abuse i urge you to reach out to anyone and remember to take care of yourself  
> !!  
> GUYS Wonpil and Dowoon finally confess tho!!??? CRIEs  
> wonpil n dowoon's love makes me emO  
> ok I wanna write one more chapter to tie in all the characters and maybe explain more abt Haru and Sungjin and how they tie in, in the epilogue, bc i feel like they rlly got left on the back-burner for these chapters..  
> but anyways, hope you enjoyed the chapter loves!!! :)


	11. Epilogue - They would all be just fine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WAAAHHH guys i cant believe this is the END!!  
> this fic has been a real labour of love im not gonna lie, i'm really sad its over ･ﾟﾟ*(>д<)*ﾟﾟ･  
> I listened to all day6 songs on repeat constantly while writing and finishing it took almost exactly a year!  
> I still remember starting the ideas for this fic in august, last year, and typing the first ever drafts on the notes app on my phone ahaaaha  
> I'm SO grateful for everyone for sticking with me and patiently waiting for updates (even though I suck at updating lolol) and loving this fic so much o(╥﹏╥)o  
> i LOVE you all and hope you enjoyed this fic as much as i enjoyed writing it!  
> <3

_Epilogue_

The end of June had the weather looking beautiful. The strawberry blonde walking up the path however, hardly noticed it as his thoughts were consumed with excitement.

“Yah! Chicken little!” A female voice teased from behind him, jogging lightly to catch up to him.

“Haru!” Jae called in surprise, finding his friend beside him.

“Excited?” she grinned, smiling largely at her best friend.

Jae shrugged, then grinned back. “Who wouldn’t be, it’s graduation.”

The pair exchanged banter and laughed as they continued up the path to the school, for what would be, their last time.

The thought made Haru a little melancholy, reflecting on the past decade with her best friend by her side. She remembered when they were barely six years old, the loud little boy who had decided to borrow her crayon and begin a friendship that would continue until they were old.

Haru had been shy and immediately intimidated by the outgoing and boisterous attitude of the other boy, but had quickly grown close to him within only a matter of days. Jae had grown to be someone as close as a brother to her, and she couldn’t even imagine living without him by her side. He always knew when she was feeling sad and how to cheer her up.

Jae had grown so much over the years, but he hadn’t changed. He was still the loud and energetic boy she had met back when they were barely old enough to count, always able to make friends with even the toughest kids and bring the best out of everyone. They had always been inseparable and that wouldn’t change.

She sighed, thinking on the past few weeks.

She had been so caught up in her own feelings that she hadn’t even noticed her best friends, or Brian’s for that matter.

She must have been blind not to notice the way Brian stared fondly at Jae, almost like he shone whenever he spoke. The way Jae was always his brightest around Brian, his smile ten times as wide compared to when he was around anyone else. She had been an idiot, only thinking about herself and being blinded by her jealousy.

Jae had been a nervous mess, stuttering in his attempts to tell her that he and Brian were now dating. They had never been able to keep secrets from each other, and Haru knew something was up when Jae came to her blushing and oddly serious for once.

_“The thing is. Well…” Jae frowned, trying to organize his thoughts._

_“Jae, you know we’ll be best friends forever, right?” Haru said, trying to calm his concerns._

_Jae brightened, grinning, “Of course.”_

_Then his smile dimmed again. “You won’t hate me right?” he asked._

How could she hate her best friend for having the same feelings that she did? The only difference was that Brian actually reciprocated them in his case. And how could she have not seen that in the first place. Brian had tried to tell her, she really did not know anything about him.

His favourite colour, favourite food? What music does he listen to? What is his family like? Haru had only been infatuated with the Brian she had seen on the surface and realized she really did not know him at all. The only person able to uncover his layers was Jae.

Haru had never wanted her feelings make Jae feel like he couldn’t be with the one he loved. She would rather stick by her best friend through whatever then have Jae feel like she hated him.

A figure came up beside Jae, looping an arm around his waist. Brian’s face was still as stoic as ever, looking unconcerned, as he loosely gripped Jae’s waist. He didn’t even acknowledge either of them, but Haru saw his lips quirk up as Jae enthusiastically greeted him with a loud “Hyung!” and continued to babble excitedly about graduation. Brian’s eyes were full of fondness as he listened to the boy talk.

Haru felt her heart quicken as Brian neared them, but now it slowed quicker, more of a nervous habit then anything. As she looked at her best friends smiling face, and Brian’s fond one, her heart swelled in happiness for them, rather than jealousy.

Jae couldn’t stop grinning, cracking more jokes than usual. Brian was next to him, quickly telling him to shut up every few minutes, but Jae could see the little smile that threatened to take over his lips. It made Jae’s chest swell and he felt a low thrum of affection for the other boy.

After graduation, Brian would be moving in with him into a small apartment together in Seoul. Jae knew that Brian hated his huge and empty house, and had suggested moving in with him almost immediately. 

Jae will never forget Brian’s face when he had suggested it, the widest smile he had ever seen on the other boy had split onto his face, and Jae wished he could bottle up and just keep it to look at whenever he wanted.

Jae was excited for what the future would bring, especially with Brian and Haru by his side.

Both Jae and Haru smiled. High school was over, but their friendship wasn’t. They knew they would all be just fine.

~~

Sungjin was nervous. He had not spoken to Wonpil since the day in detention, after Wonpil had run after Dowoon. Sungjin didn’t know what had happened, but both Wonpil and Dowoon had not been to school for almost a week after that.

He had been worried about Wonpil, but everytime he would pass him in the halls, Wonpil’s face would flash in his mind. 

_"I think that I have waited long enough for you, Sungjin."_

With an almost resigned and resolute look, Wonpil had unconsciously broken a dam in Sungjin’s mind.

How could he not have realized how much he had probably hurt Wonpil over the past few weeks? Months? Years? He had always thought that Wonpil was such a permanent fixture in his life that he had not even bothered to pay attention to him. It made his stomach churn in guilt and he had not been able to gather the courage to approach him again.

He had never even noticed his best friends feelings for him. 

Now, it was graduation and Sungjin would probably never see Wonpil again. What university was he going to? Where would he be living? Wonpil had always been smart, even without trying. He could have been accepted into any university in Korea. Sungjin did not know anything about his “best friend” lately, and the thought made his stomach churn more than the guilt did.

Sungjin weaved through the crowd of happy graduation students, his eyes catching on a familiar head of black hair.

Wonpil was smiling his usual gummy smile, making Sungjin’s chest swell. He hadn’t seen it in a while. Opposite to him was his mom and dad, both smiling proudly at Wonpil and… Dowoon? The younger boy still looked a little worse for wear, but was also smiling widely at Wonpil’s parents.

Sungjin was confused but quickly made his way over to the group.

Wonpil’s mother was the first to notice him, immediately smiling and waving him over.

“Sungjin-ah! We haven’t seen you in a while! How have you been? How are your parents?” She chatted excitedly.

“Eomeonim, hello.” Sungjin greeted her. “They are fine, me as well. They are actually over there, speaking to Teacher Kim.” He smiled to her, pointing to his parents a few feet away.

“Oh!” She exclaimed. “We must greet them!” Wonpil’s mother said before dragging his father with her, leaving the three boys alone.

Sungjin turned to Wonpil, noticing that Wonpil’s smile immediately slid off his face when he saw him.

“Wonpil, can I talk to you for a bit?” He asked, almost pleading with his eyes.

Sungjin felt a little pang when he saw Dowoon look concernedly at Wonpil and lean over to whisper something in his ear. Since when did Dowoon talk? What was he telling Wonpil?

Wonpil smiled weakly to Dowoon and said something to him quietly, his eyes warming while looking at the other boy.

Wonpil nodded to Sungjin and Sungjin released the breath he had been holding. He followed him to a less crowded area, where they stood facing each other, an awkward silence in the air.

"Wonp-"

"I-"

They both began at the same time. Wonpil blushed, motioning for Sungjin to go first.

“Um… What university are you going to?” Sungjin blurted, his mind a jumbled mess.

Wonpil looked a little startled at the question but replied anyways.

“Ah… Yonsei University…” Wonpil replied hesitantly.

“Wow… Wonpil that’s amazing.” Sungjin said, and Wonpil blushed.

“Thanks… What about you?”

“Seoul National University.”

Wonpil smiled, “That’s amazing too.”

“Yeah…” Sungjin trailed off, not knowing how to continue this conversation.

“Sungjin…” Wonpil said.

“Listen Wonpil,” Sungjin interrupted. “I just… I just have to apologize." 

Sungjin looked frustrated, but continued. "It took me a while to realize this but I am a horrible friend.”

“Sungjin-“ Wonpil started.

“No! I have to say this.” Sungjin looked into Wonpil’s eyes. “I was a horrible friend. I ignored you and was inconsiderate of your feelings. I was so caught up in myself that I didn't even look to see how I was affecting you. I am so sorry. I took you for granted and couldn’t even see what was right in front of me.” Sungjin spewed, rushing to get out the words before Wonpil decided to never speak with him again. 

Wonpil looked at him, slightly teary. “That doesn’t change anything Sungjin.” He said, his voice cracking.

“I know.” Sungjin replied, his own voice breaking as well. “But, I couldn’t just leave without apologizing. Wonpil. You’ll always be my best friend.”

“And you'll always be mine.” Wonpil said, softly. “My first love too.”

Sungjin broke, the tears that threatened to leak out of his eyes, spilling over at Wonpil’s words.

Wonpil rushed in for a hug and Sungjin hugged him back with all his might. Clutching onto the fabric of Wonpil’s robes, he buried his nose into his neck, both of them with tears on their cheeks. 

Sungjin wished he could have cherished this boy earlier, too caught up in his feelings for Haru. Wonpil would always be too good for him.

They broke apart, each wiping their eyes.

Wonpil smiled, his chest feeling lighter. He needed that closure from Sungjin, his unrequited feelings finally being buried and something of the past. He would always miss his best friend and first love, but he was looking forward to the future even more. One with dark eyes and a dark past, but a bright smile and a deep voice.

“Goodbye Sungjin.”

“Goodbye… Wonpil.”

Wonpil walked away, back to where Dowoon had been waiting for him, the other boy staring worriedly up at the sky, in the exact space Wonpil had left him. Wonpil’s heart swelled with love for this silent boy, quickly reaching his side.

Wonpil grabbed Dowoon’s hand, leading him to a corner of the school with no people, as Dowoon looked at him confusedly.

Once he was sure they were alone, Wonpil leaned his head on Dowoon’s chest, listening to the boy’s heartbeat speed up. It made Wonpil smile. Dowoon hesitantly reached up and wrapped his arms around Wonpils back, gently stroking it up and down.

Wonpil suddenly looked up at him, Dowoon’s mouth parting in surprise. Wonpil gazed at his lips before quickly making a decision. Leaning up on his tip toes, he pressed a hesitant kiss on Dowoon’s lips.

Dowoon’s eyes widened even more, his hands stilling on Wonpil's back and mouth once again, parted in shock. Wonpil giggled, seeing Dowoon’s surprise. He quickly leaned up again and pressed another kiss to the other boy's mouth, this one longer and more steady, giving Dowoon a chance to react.

This was Wonpil’s, as well as Dowoon’s first kiss, and although it was a bit clumsy, both would agree it was the best kiss of their lives.

Dowoon melted into the second kiss, holding Wonpil in place a little longer.

When they broke apart, Wonpil was smiling wide enough to break his face.

“What…” Dowoon cleared his voice, “What was that for?” he asked.

Wonpil continued to smile, wrapping his arms around Dowoon's waist again, never getting tired of hearing the other boys voice.

“I’m just… really happy.” He smiled into Dowoon’s chest.

Although Wonpil couldn’t see it, Dowoon was also smiling so wide it could break his face.

_Me too._

Dowoon didn’t have the most perfect past. His dad was abusive, and sometimes he missed his mom so much he couldn’t breathe. It took Dowoon a long time to admit that his mother’s death was not his fault and his father’s abuse wasn’t either.

It took a lot of meetings with Doctor Park and some long chats about what he wanted to do, that his father was now getting investigated for child abuse. Dowoon and Doctor Park had gotten so close over the past few weeks, that he even offered Dowoon to live with him until everything was sorted out. Wonpil had also told him neither he nor his parents would mind if Dowoon continued to live with them, but Dowoon felt he had abused their hospitality long enough.

Doctor Park had been a constant presence during Dowoon’s recovery, presenting real concern and care for the boy. Dowoon had come to look at him as a sort of parental figure, one much more caring than his own father was.

To his surprise, he had also somehow made it into Korea National University, where he had decided to study music. His father had always said music was a waste of time, but Doctor Park encouraged him to pursue his dream of becoming a drummer.

Dowoon felt hopeful for the first time in forever.

Looking down at the boy in his arms, he truly felt happy for the first time in forever too.

He knew they would all be just fine. They finally knew what to do, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ps. i just love happy endings and i can't resist writing them????? ಥ‿ಥ


End file.
